In the garden of Gethsemane
by make-mine-a-kiaora
Summary: Inspired by "Paint it Red" April Prompt "Save me". The morning after events in Orchid Lane in "There will be blood". Title comes from poem by Kipling. Started as a one-shot (my first Mentalist story) but more recently updated. I'd be delighted if you decide to leave a review and let me know what you think. Rated T for language. Disclaimer added: not mine, no money made
1. Chapter 1

6.30am.

Early morning light shafts through the east facing windows, filtered into reds and blues by the heavy stained glass. A somber peace, made holy by generations of bended knees and fervent prayers, fills St Agnes'. Its presence manifests in the smell of beeswax and the faint trace of dispersed incense, in the worn polish on the wooden benches and the dim red light burning over the tabernacle. A place of solitude. A haven outside of time.

The oak door creaks open, slamming shut again with the clatter of its ironwork, and a lone figure slips through. Teresa Lisbon. Wrapped in her long black coat, hands deep in the pockets, she looks small and vulnerable as she walks forward. Her heels click on the flagstones, loud against the silence.

About a third of the way down the aisle, Lisbon pauses, raising her head away from the internal maelstrom which engulfs her. She genuflects and traces out a hasty sign of the cross as she slips into the bench. Kneeling, elbows on the wooden pew in front of her, she clasps her hands and rests her forehead on them. The words of long instilled prayers rise through her mind. The "Our Father" and the "Hail Mary". And then the less familiar, fragmentary and disjointed, more in line with her needs. She mutters, "Thou in toil are't comfort sweet. Pleasant coolness in the heat. Solace in the midst of woe." This is what she is here for. Solace. Preservation. And relief. Help to re-gather her scattered values and beliefs and recover a sense of direction. Of who she is. Of what she can do.

Taking a deep breath, Lisbon sinks back on her heels, against the edge of her bench. She rubs the exhaustion from her eyes and tries to get a grip. She needs to lay out what is troubling her before God, trusting Him to listen. But where to begin… The threads in her head have knotted and tangled beyond restoration. Her heart weighs like a coffin filled with rocks. The insomnia, which took hold of her when Jane was in Vegas and has stayed around since his return, is eroding her ability to function. The thought drifts through her mind that maybe it's a narcotic.

So. Last night. Or rather the early hours of today.

Lorelei Martins.

Jane… letting her go.

Jane and Lorelei.

Jane and Lorelei, together. Alone.

Kissing? Loving? He has feelings…, feelings for her.

Lisbon clenches her fists, the nails gouging her palms. Her breath stutters. She battles the tears which glaze her vision.

Jane...

Of course he has feelings. He slept with her. In Vegas.

The memories swirl in her head.

"We were lovers, him and me."

"I need to be alone with her."

"I would ask her to MARRY me" – from the man who devoted all those years to the memory of his wife and daughter. Who had been faithfully married to a ghost…. Before…. Before that bitch in Vegas.

Tonsil-hockey in the interrogation room.

Risking his life to help her escape…

Closing off from the people who care for him. From the team. Worse than that… From her. His confidant and partner.

And then the biggest bombshell of all. Condoning vicious, unprovoked torture and cold blooded murder. "She must've had a reason!" What the hell?

Teresa shook her head, wondering when it all got so far out of control. She cared for Jane. Valued his friendship. Endured such heartache and distress when he vanished off the radar for so long. When she thought he might drown in his darkness. He could have succumbed to suicide or got himself beaten or killed. When she wasn't there.

She helps him. Has always helped him. Supported him through the rough patches and made sure he was eating. She thought he'd felt similarly for her. He'd shot Hardy, exonerated her name on numerous occasions and been there after Bosco's death. She believed it was a two way street. She opened up. Trusted him. Even, she cringed as she admitted it, loved him.

But what if it was all a con?

What else could she think?

And the bastard knew. She had no doubts about that. That her secret and her dignity had survived. Not after last night. Especially not now.

The only consolation – he wasn't going to care about her when Lorelei had his attention. Maybe, just maybe, his focus on his lover, and his indifference to Teresa's own feelings, would be enough to occupy that brilliant butterfly mind. To let her lock it down once more.

Taking stock, Teresa was forced to admit how much she had let Jane corrupt her as a cop. She remembered Bosco's warnings. But even Sam Bosco wouldn't have seen this…. Accessory in a jail break, lying on official forms and to the CBI, FBI and Homeland Security to save his ass, and now accessory to murder. Scrub that. Kidnapping, torture and premeditated murder.

What had she done?

As Teresa worked over the evidence in her mind, she came to a devastatingly simple conclusion. Jane had forced her to choose between the law and natural justice. And then distorted said justice until it was unrecognisable.

For her part, she knew that his brokenness brought out her primal need to care and protect. And she was loyal to her own. He was a member of her team. That made him family. And she had tended his wounds as best she could and protected him. Protected him from the consequences of his actions. And far too much. Maybe this wasn't a kindness. He should take responsibility for himself. But what was the alternative? Life behind bars; a short stay on death row? If he wasn't there already, he was heading there soon. Racing towards his own destruction in the name of revenge.

Her need to care and defend were valid reasons as to why he had dragged her so low, but it ran deeper. She remembered fragments of the nightmare which led to her walking the streets, heading for comforting familiarity. Jane laughing as Red John cut him open. Her father. Accusing her. Finding his lifeless body. The cases where she'd tried and failed. Bloated corpses and mouldering skeletons. And the mantra in her head. "Save me. Save me."

She couldn't save her father. That would always grieve her. Even now it made her bleed. But she couldn't. It was bigger than her.

And she couldn't save Jane. If he was hell bent on destroying himself, all she could do was force the ultimatum. Come back to the team, to the CBI and the law. Or leave where she could not and would not follow. He was a smart cookie. He would work it out. At least, that she meant it.

A picture flashed through her head – a wooden lifeboat adrift in a stormy sea – and words from a distant experiment. "You can save 10 children by throwing one 80 year old man out of the boat." As Sophie Miller said, the most basic human morality. We look after our own.

But this wasn't that. This was saving the lives of her agents from the one man who would sink the boat.

And that is what she must do. Explain the situation to Jane. Point out the consequences and then live with the fall-out.

For all their sakes.

Glancing at her watch, Lisbon figured she best hurry if she wanted to avoid the early Mass attendees, adjust her make up to hide the tears, and get to work by 8 o'clock.

It was time.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I make no money from fanfiction and no copyright infringement intended._

_This story was going to just be a one shot but I suddenly found inspiration to continue it!_

Striding into her office, Lisbon threw her jacket onto the hook in the corner and unholstered her gun, laying it on the right hand side of her desk, alongside the computer monitor. None of the team were in yet, though it wouldn't be long before Van Pelt, Cho and Rigsby arrived. As for Jane, well who knew. Maybe he'd turn up mid-morning. More likely, he was already here, barricaded in his attic like he thought that the bailiffs were coming.

Flicking on the monitor, Lisbon logged in and started to browse her inbox. Meeting with Bertram at 10am. Scheduled time 30 minutes. Oh hell. And before that, she had a team to co-ordinate. To bring up to speed on the latest developments in the Julia Howard murder/Lorelei Martins case, since they'd left at a reasonable hour last night. At least Jane didn't need to be involved in that one, so she didn't have to set eyes on his arrogant smirk this side of a good mug of coffee. She'd stick to telling the minimum. That she and Jane had tracked down an Orchid Lane address that may or may not have something to do with people disappearing from the shelter and that there was evidence that Lorelei had been there but she wasn't there when she, Lisbon, arrived. She just hoped that her team didn't ask too many questions. She neither wanted to tell them about Jane's behaviour – it hurt her and it would hurt them and the team wouldn't function if they lost their trust in the consultant – nor did she want to lie. Nor was she going to lie.

They did have productive work that could be done. Tallying the records from the shelter against missing persons and cold case files. Tracking down former employees and volunteers. Looking for anything in Julia Howard's background that linked her with Miranda or Lorelei Martins or Red John. People to call in, interviews to arrange. Property deeds to search. Cho and Rigsby could go and do the house to house round Orchid Lane. Van Pelt could get started on the records.

* * *

10.20am.

Lisbon walked into the women's restroom, and, after a cursory check that it was empty, leaned back against the wall, scrubbing her face with her hands. Just when she thought that this couldn't get any worse. Bertram had humiliated her, picked up on her ambivalent feelings toward Jane, read her for the liar that this case had made her and told her that Kirkland was back on chewing their tails. Did she ever wonder what Jane and Lorelei got up to? Only ever other hour or so. Or whenever she closed her eyes or tried to sleep. Then the other one. Could she, and more tellingly, the CBI, trust Jane? Well she knew the answer to that one. It was no.

Just a few short hours ago, she'd been ready to have it out with Jane. Force him to choose sides and moderate his behaviour or leave. Now, one of her team was threatened. There was only one thing she could do. Circle the wagons and protect her own. It didn't matter whether Jane was innocent. He clearly wasn't. But he was still one of the team and therefore she'd still swing for him. That's just the way it was. But he needed to be warned, and warned soon.

Grabbing a double espresso from the kitchen, Lisbon returned to her desk, noting the still empty couch as she passed through the bullpen. Her heart turned over at the memory that once Jane would have been there for her. Plying her with coffee and bear claws. But that was pre-Vegas and the new love of his life. Whilst there had been a few times since then that it looked like their friendship would mend, things were nothing like they'd once been.

Still, no time like the present. And she wasn't going to look for Jane. He was coming to her now. She picked up her cell phone and speed dialled number 1.

* * *

10.50am

Lisbon stomped round her office, moving and straightening, scattering and reviewing. Cho, Rigsby and van Pelt watched from the bullpen with a degree of trepidation. It was clear that Jane had upset the boss, though he'd walked from her office looking totally unruffled and retreated upstairs. Now the boss had migrated onto polishing the glass of her door. Yep. This was bad. Very bad.

* * *

11.05am

Lisbon sat back in her chair and tried to think. Of all the insufferable… condescending….patronising….arrogant….

She forced herself to stop. This was getting nowhere. Yes, she was mad. Mad as a baited badger. But more than that, she was hurt. Hurt and betrayed. It wasn't the first time that Jane had treated her like dirt. But this was a new low, even for him. And, whilst she'd done questionable things for him before, now she truly was compromised. An unfit cop in the eyes of the law, and in her own eyes. Was it never going to end? Maybe she should just go to Kirkland, turn herself in.

But that wouldn't happen. She'd never understood the men and women who turned a blind eye. Who protected those that they'd have to have suspected were serial killers or rapists. And yet here she was. Protecting Jane, who didn't deserve it, and therefore by extension protecting Lorelei.

She picked her badge up and ran her fingers over the raised metal surface. She remembered the day she'd received it. The vows of office. To serve the law and protect the people of California. For so long now, this had been her everything. Her purpose and calling. Her identity.

Still, there was always paperwork.

A short while later, she realised that she must have frozen, staring at her computer screen, since her list of forms to complete hadn't got any less. A minute later, her phone rang. The message left her feeling more irate than ever.

"OK, guys, we're up."

Lorelei Martins had struck again. At a conference centre this time.

For a few moments, she seriously considered not telling Jane. Going without him. But then she acknowledged that they kept him around for a reason. And it gave her a chance to watch him. To figure out exactly what lengths he would go to for that bitch.

Reaching for the phone again, she dialled. "Jane, we're up. Lorelei again. Meet us at the Plaza."

She didn't wait for an answer. Just hit the disconnect button and gathered her things. Yes, Jane was coming with them, at least if he could be bothered, but he could damn well drive himself. She was outta here and the team had already gone.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, followed or favourited this story._

_Disclaimer: I own no rights to the Mentalist and make no money from fanfiction._

2.43am

Lisbon sat alone in the SUV, gripping the steering wheel as if her frustrations could be vented by snapping it like a shrivelled twig. It had been a long time, many years in fact, since she had been on stake out without another member of the team, and 95% of the time, it had been Jane.

Jane.

What the hell was she going to do?

This morning, no, yesterday morning, she'd been ready to swing for him. His callous dismissal of her attempts to make him see sense and the utter ignorance that he'd treated her with after she covered for him to Bertram…

Hell, it made her mad. Mad, furious, livid. But, hate to admit it though she did, it also made her sad. A sense of anguish and betrayal that ran straight through her core like she'd been stabbed with a samurai sword. It was tough finding out that the man you cared for, lo…, no, cared for - her best friend - didn't even consider her worthy of basic respect and human decency. After almost a decade of being there for him, tending his wounds and helping him through the bad times, it meant nothing to him compared to his fling with a serial killer's mistress. And not just any serial killer. Red John. Couldn't he see how totally messed up this really was?

But, forcing herself to be meticulously fair about it, Lisbon had to admit that, later in the day, Jane's attitude had improved. Yes, they were definitely distant and strictly professional with each other, but he had deigned to be involved. He had worked the case, and provided some useful insights, without hurtling off after his 'lover' like a horny adolescent. He had functioned at an adequate level and with as much team-spirit as could ever be expected of the man. And, this evening, he appeared to have engaged that golden brain and to perhaps be giving them real leads instead. Much as seeing him around the office all the time was hurting her currently, Lisbon knew she should be thankful that Jane was still around. Marginally less chance of lawsuits for a start. But it couldn't be disputed that he caught a lot of bad guys who would otherwise walk. And, despite his hairbrained obsession with vengeance, he was still the best hope that they had for taking down Red John once and for all. And, if anyone needed stopping, it was Red John. A memory of Sam Bosco lying in that hospital bed rose in her mind, and her argument with Jane about withdrawing his morphine. She should have seen then what a heartless bastard Jane was. She had nobody to blame but herself. Bosco was certainly well entitled to an 'I told you so.'

So here they were all out on stake out. Carl was proving a good police officer and a dependable temporary stand-in for van Pelt even though he lacked her computer skills. If Rigsby and van Pelt did decide to get back together – and who hadn't seen the muted attraction there – Carl could be a good addition to the team, to take over from whoever decided to leave. She just really hoped that it didn't come to that. They may be a dysfunctional little family but they were her unit and they were pretty damned good when it came down to it.

So Carl, Rigsby, Cho and herself, all out on solitary stake-outs trying to protect four potential targets from Lorelei Martins. This wasn't ideal. Far from it. Officers potentially facing down an armed and exceedingly dangerous suspect, without backup. But what else could she do? With the prospect of another imminent murder, the short time frame that they had to work in and the issue of trusting anyone outside of their unit, she'd done the best that she could. And she had to live with that. At least Carl and Cho were within ten minutes of each other, and the same could be said for Cho and Rigsby. She was the furthest one out, and she could look after herself. Especially given that there was no Jane to endanger her with his wild, unpredictable stunts. Or to help you, a small voice added, but she cut it off before it became significant.

Jane. Back to this again.

What was she going to do? At least he'd agreed to stay in the office, out of harm's way, much to her amazement. Though she hadn't heard a whisper or a squeak out of him since she left the CBI so, in theory, he could be anywhere. And she wasn't checking in with him. She did not want to know.

2.56am

Lisbon poured herself another coffee from the flask on the passenger seat. Nursing it with both hands, she continued to monitor the area, assessing with the detached but penetrating gaze of the trained observer.

3.13am

The phone rang, cutting through the enveloping silence, making her start and reach for her gun momentarily. The screen lit up. Patrick Jane was calling.

3.14am

"Lisbon. It's Jane. Lorelei's at Jason Lenin's place. You best hurry. I think Rigsby may have been hurt."

Crap!

Lisbon grabbed the radio, barking out the order to Cho and Carl to abandon their posts and assist Rigsby, as she barrelled away from her parking spot. She needed to talk to Jane. Find out where he was. If Rigsby needed an ambulance. If one had already been called.

Fifteen minutes later, having smashed the speed limit and run every red light, Lisbon swerved into the side street where Rigsby had been parked, abandoning her vehicle behind the one that had smashed into the CBI SUV. Cho was already there, leaning into the driver's side window. That was encouraging. Rigsby wasn't on the ground being given CPR and the crash didn't look bad enough for a fatality.

As Lisbon approached Rigsby and Cho, she noted another vehicle pulled to the side. A vintage blue Citroen. What the hell was Jane doing here? And where was he? Why wasn't he with Rigsby? Had Cho sent him away?

Reaching the SUV, Lisbon assessed the situation as Cho briefed her on what he'd learned. Whilst Rigsby was undoubtedly hurt, and would be going to hospital, it could have been so much worse. And, just as she expected, Cho had taken over the scene and called in the paramedics.

"Rigs. Rigs. It's Lisbon. No, don't move. Help's on its way. How you feeling?"

"Hurts… Saw Jane, I think."

"You saw Jane?"

"I think. Was a bit…woozy…at the time."

"He stayed with you, right?"

Cho cut in. "No boss. Rigsby was alone and still only semi-conscious when I got here. Looks like the impact knocked him out."

"I see". If Lisbon had thought that she was mad earlier, it had nothing on this. There was no reason, no reason at all, well except for immediate danger to life and limb, that would cause you to leave an injured colleague behind. And not just a colleague, a team member. One of them.

Jane better hope that she didn't catch up with him later. And she had a fairly good idea as to what Cho might do with any leftover pieces of him that she didn't finish shredding. But, in the meantime, she was needed here. With Rigsby. At least he wasn't bleeding heavily and there were no obvious signs of broken bones.

About five minutes later, the paramedics arrived, taking over the scene, patching Rigsby up and extracting him efficiently from the vehicle. Cho and Lisbon remained at the scene whilst the ambulance pulled away, with Carl joining them shortly after. They did the necessary checks and note-taking before calling for forensic back-up to process the vehicles involved in the accident. By the time that they were done, dawn was breaking around them. As soon as handover was complete, they could head to the hospital. Find out how Rigsby was going on.

Satisfied that this part of the investigation had been completed as well as possible, Lisbon turned her thoughts to the other issue of the evening. Jane. She supposed that she'd better look for him. And leave Cho here co-ordinating the handover, since there was a good likelihood that he may shoot Jane on site. She didn't want to see another of her officers under investigation for murder.

Moving cautiously into the house, covering her route ahead with her gun, Lisbon was horrified to find a second crime scene. Jason Lenin lay on the floor, obviously shot, unconscious and bleeding, whilst Jane was trying to give CPR. Working on him like a mad-man.

One look at Jane's face almost floored her. He looked… broken. Insubstantial. Like a strong breeze would disperse him. And when he croaked, in that lost little voice, "He had a pulse but now it's gone", Lisbon's whole world turned in an instant.

Calling for more paramedics, Lisbon took over on the CPR. But all the time, instead of focussing on the rhythm, she was looking at Jane. Lilting her voice and murmuring away to him like he was a scared toddler. Reassurance. Reassurance. Reassurance. The only thing that she could do.

A few minutes later, his job outside complete, Cho arrived and took over the chest compressions, leaving Lisbon free to deal with Jane. She tried to move him away from Lenin but he just clung to her and wouldn't budge. Only after the paramedics took over, once they were ready to move Lenin, did he stir. He followed the gurney out, never out of arm's reach of Lorelei's victim. It was clear that he intended to accompany Lenin to hospital and Cho and Lisbon began falling back, since this was no longer their responsibility,

A shout. And then a team of armed officers rushed in, led by Kirkland.

"Homeland Security has taken over the Lorelei Martin's case. This is no longer your jurisdiction."

Cho and Lisbon just stared as Kirkland swung into the back of the ambulance, displacing Jane who was manhandled away by two of his goons. Jane lost it. Went berserk. But could not free himself from his two bodyguards. Kirkland slammed the back door of the ambulance and the vehicle roared away.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with 'the Mentalist' in any way and make no money from fanfiction._

The two guards restraining Jane released their hold and he slumped to the ground. They strolled off without even looking at Lisbon or Cho, melting into early morning suburbia like the rest of their team. Jane just lay there, in a crumpled heap, as Cho and Lisbon stared in disbelief. Carl, emerging from the house where he'd gone to secure the scene, hurried over.

A few moments later, Lisbon regained her composure. Or at least enough to remember that she was team leader and things needed to be done. Whilst Cho looked as impenetrable as ever, she could feel his fury as a blast of arctic wind. He'd leaned down to check Jane's condition before freezing like a soldier on parade.

And Jane. Jane was just… gone. From Cho's response, he was obviously conscious and breathing but that was about all that could be said.

"Carl," she turned to the youngest team member, uneasily aware that this whole debacle was not showing her team in a good light. And not setting an appropriate example to an up and coming agent. "You secured the scene?"

"Err, yes boss."

He looked a little like a perp preparing to bolt, shifting his weight between his feet. Lisbon could not help but to feel sorry for him. This whole situation had degenerated into the most terrible mess and he did not deserve to be associated with it.

"OK Carl. That's good. Now, until we have further clarity, our work here is done. I'll get the local PD to guard the scene. Go home. Get some rest. I'll call you if we need you."

Carl nodded and retreated to his vehicle, which was parked behind Lisbon's. He wasted no time in following up on her order, turning towards home.

Now that it was just Cho and Jane, Lisbon breathed slightly easier. At the moment she was too drained to be angry with Kirkland and his cronies, though she knew that this would come later. For now, it was damage control.

"Cho."

Her second in command spun around.

"They took Rigsby to Sac General?"

The terse nod was the acknowledgement she needed. But she knew that she had to be careful with Cho. She had never seen him so angry.

"OK. Would you go and see if there's any news? I'll join you as soon as I can. Hopefully he shouldn't be too bad."

"What are you going to do about this?"

Cho indicated their surroundings, including the secured house, and Jane who hadn't moved since he'd surrendered to gravity.

"I'll deal with Jane. It's OK. And as to the rest… Bertram won't even be up yet. Unless Kirkland dragged him out of bed. I'll contact him as soon as I can." _If he doesn't summon me first_.

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

Cho took his leave. As his car disappeared around the corner, Lisbon allowed her calm façade to drop. She wandered to the nearest wall and perched there, forehead resting on the heels of her hands, whilst she tried to get a grip. What a terrible way for things to turn out. But Lisbon knew she could not afford to give in. The buck stopped with her and it was down to her to do everything she could from here to recover the situation. At least as far as it was possible. A few moments later, she levered herself back to her feet, feeling the fatigue and the emotional exhaustion weighing her down like she was a beast of burden. Jane. Kirkland. Lorelei. What was she going to do?

Well, Jane was her immediate problem.

She squatted next to him, placing one hand on his shoulder and gently shaking as she spoke to him. But without any success. Jane remained catatonic. She tried again, more forcefully.

"Jane. Look at me!"

He turned his head. His eyes were full of pain and hurt and horror. Whatever had happened in that house had almost destroyed him. This wasn't just about Kirkland seizing the case, bad though that was.

"Jane. Come on."

She knew that she had to coax a response from him and she wasn't leaving him here on the ground. He was going to have to get a grip again, though she'd help him as much as she could, and for starters that meant getting to his feet.

"Jane, up."

He looked back at her again but didn't make any attempt to comply. More drastic measures were needed. How she longed for Rigsby's height and strength right now. But, given she couldn't physically drag Jane to his feet, she settled for commanding him with as much authority as she could muster.

"Patrick Jane! Stand up. Now!"

"Err, Lisbon?" Jane's voice was little more than a whisper but he did start to shift. Tugging on his elbow, Lisbon refused to give up until Jane had reluctantly hauled himself upright. He swayed, evidently unsteady, so she towed him over to her SUV and made sure that he crawled into the passenger seat. He still looked rough but there was nothing for it. There were things that they needed to discuss, before the place was swarming with the local PD.

Shutting the door, after engaging the child lock for good measure, Lisbon took her place behind the wheel, turning to her companion. He looked so hurt and haunted that it made her heart clench. But this was serious. She needed to know what had happened though she could perhaps give him a few more minutes.

Turning away from Jane for a moment, she called up the constabulary to check that Kirkland had already arranged for their presence. They were on their way and it was time to take this someplace else. There was a rest stop that she knew not far from here. That would have to do. And by then enough time should have elapsed for her to call Cho and see if there was any news. And, as for Jane, maybe she'd be able to think about what best to do.

Fifteen minutes later, Lisbon pulled into the stop and killed the engine. Jane hadn't moved or spoken since she'd done up his seatbelt for him.

OK. First she'd call Cho.

Jumping out and pacing back and forth in front of the vehicle, she waited for her right hand man to pick up. She couldn't stand any of her team being injured and she couldn't even be there for Rigsby at the moment.

"Boss."

"How's Rigsby?"

"He'll live. Cuts and bruises mainly but he has a fractured rib and the head wound needed stitches. He's had severe concussion so they'll keep him overnight. A precaution. They think he'll be OK."

The dread in Lisbon's heart subsided. Rigsby was going to be all right. He might be out of commission for a few weeks but that was much better than it might have been. Especially with Lorelei Martins involved.

She almost missed it when Cho spoke again.

"And Jane?"

"Ah. Not much change really. We're mobile. I should be with you in half an hour or so."

"No need. I got this."

"Thanks, Cho. I'll see you later."

So. Now she knew that Rigsby would recover, it was time to focus on Jane. But first, she needed a drink and the kiosk at the far side of the parking lot looked like a good bet.

Returning with two Styrofoam cups – one tea and one coffee – Lisbon was relieved to see that Jane was sat up in his seat watching her. He was a lot more alert, though still a long way from his usual confident self. She was pretty sure now that he'd been overwhelmed and just given up. Something she recognised from her days as a teenager with a drunk and abusive father. And whilst Jane's state wasn't good, at least it wasn't some kind of mental break. Perhaps she should add Sophie Miller to her speed dial though just in case.

As she walked back across the lot towards the SUV, Lisbon began to take stock of recent events. Yes, she was still concerned for Jane's welfare, but she was also stewing. In the space of a few very long hours, Jane had disobeyed her again. What was new? But he'd also turned his back on a colleague in need and that was unforgiveable. Add that to the way he'd watched the tape of Julia Howard's murder and tried to argue that it was inconsequential! Ever since Vegas, and his interlude with Lorelei, he'd become a stranger. One she wasn't sure that she could deal with anymore. Hey, who knew that sex after all these years of abstinence would so addle the man's omniscient brain? Leaving Lorelei to lead him around by his dick, now that he'd remembered where it was! Not to mention the new heights to which his fixation with Red John had reached.

Lisbon set the two cups down on the nearby picnic table and took a seat, facing away from the SUV and down the valley. Jane would come when he was ready. And, like it or not, he was going to face the consequences of the things he'd been doing. She'd already had one man bail out of her life when he refused to deal with reality and accept his responsibilities. And if Jane thought that he could do the same, could just drop out like her father, he could think again. This whole situation was a black hole of his making and he wasn't going to just bow out and dump it all on her.

Sure enough, a couple of minutes later, the vehicle door slammed and Jane shuffled over. Grabbing a comb out of her jacket pocket, and a pouch of wet wipes, she pushed them over to him.

"You're a mess."

As Jane looked at her, the ghost of a smile flickered across his face, before the weariness settled once more.

"Thanks, I think."

He took the offered items and did what he could to clean up. All the time Lisbon looked away from him, continuing to scan the valley.

"I. I guess…" Jane's voice was cracked and hoarse. Lisbon had to strain her ears to listen to him. "I. I'm sorry Lisbon. You tried to warn me, I know."

"For what, Jane? What happened?" She wasn't going to make it easy on him. Not now. "The truth please. And all of it. Not some measly 30 percent."

Jane peered at her, carefully assessing her mood and the damage that he'd done.

"Yes. Oh, and thank you for the tea." He took a long sip before continuing, his voice still soft but much less wavery. "You wouldn't want it to go cold now."

Lisbon stared back at him in disbelief. That was _so_ not the right thing to say. This man was truly unbelievable. And when he looked back at her with his best 'but it's not my fault, mom' expression, she felt the rage bubbling up inside, sharpening her tone and her resolve. That was Jane all over. Just one more act. One more con. And she wasn't going to fall for it. Nosiree. They'd been humiliated today. She and the rest of the team. Led around by a serial killer's associate who shouldn't even be out in the real world. Who had been safely contained until a certain someone… She growled softly, fingers digging into the cup enough to leave indentations.

And not to mention that Rigsby had been injured, and Jane had just left him there to chase his 'lover'.

Lisbon jumped to her feet. The waking dragon rearing through her sucked everything in as it prepared to strike. She had to get away from here. Fast. Until she calmed down a little. Or Rigsby wasn't going to be the only one hospitalised. But no. That would mean losing it in front of Jane again. Not acceptable. This was her ground and she wasn't backing down. No bloody way. She stood, glaring down at Jane, whilst her fists began to rise. Slowly, deliberately, she focused on them, curling and uncurling her fingers as adrenaline coursed through her. "Jane. I _will not_ tolerate your messing with me. The truth. Now. Or so help me…"

Jane looked away, appearing submissive, but she could never be sure with him. He reached out across the table with both hands curled in what she remembered as the 'supplicant palms' gesture, slowly raising his gaze to make eye contact.

"Where should I start?"

Lisbon sat again, arms locked across her chest.

"How about after I left you in the office? Where you'd agreed to stay. Something about keeping out of Lorelei's way. Being in the clear if it all went south. Remember?"

Her tone was icy and Jane couldn't suppress the wince that shot through him. He'd seen Lisbon mad many times but nothing like this. Never even close.

"Well… I stayed in the office, like we'd agreed, and rested for a while. Then I decided to review the files again. And all the other evidence the guys had found."

"And?"

"And then I saw Lenin on the cover of a fishing magazine. And it hit me…"

"A fishing magazine?"

"Yes. Don't you see? Lenin supplied Red John with potential victims. Maybe potential recruits too. And Orchid Lane was his safe house. Rented by Julia Howard to keep his name off all the paperwork. And when I looked round the bedroom there, I found some fishing line."

"Mmm." Lisbon looked even less impressed if that was possible. "So you went to Orchid Lane where you met with Lorelei. When you were in the _bedroom,_ you found some fishing line. Which is evidence but you didn't bother to submit it. Must've slipped your mind to even mention it."

Jane scrubbed his hands across his face, trying to contain his rising frustration.

"Lisbon. Please. I didn't go to Orchid Lane to see Lorelei and I certainly didn't take her to bed! I was looking round when I found the line, on my own, but when I went back into the living room Lorelei appeared. We talked. She left and you arrived."

"Convenient. You talked. About?"

"About Red John. And Miranda. I tried to get Lorelei to see that he killed her. But she wouldn't. She had to find out for herself, and she warned me off having anything more to do with her.

Then tonight, when I found the fishing connection, I just knew."

Lisbon continued to look at Jane like he was something nasty she'd found stuck to the sole of her shoe.

"What did you do then?"

"Called Rigsby to warn him. Just in time to hear the accident. So I thought I'd best come and check on him. And I called you as I was leaving.

When I got to the scene, it was clear Rigsby was hurt but he didn't look too bad. Nothing I could do for him. I knew that you and Cho couldn't be far away, so I went into the house to try to catch up with Lorelei –"

"How brave and selfless of you."

"To catch up with Lorelei and see if I could save Lenin. I couldn't. He confessed to handing Miranda over to Red John and Lorelei shot him. She knows the truth now."

Jane reached out to touch Lisbon's elbow but she shook him off. He pulled back his hand like he'd been stung.

"Lisbon, please listen. I thought that I could work with Lorelei. We'd both lost people we loved to Red John and, with Lorelei's knowledge, I believed we could track him down. But Lorelei reneged on our deal. She's going after him alone. And there's nothing more I can do."

Jane slumped across the picnic table, head lolling on his outstretched arm. He rested there for a few moments before pulling himself back together.

"Lisbon, I know I made a mess of things. And I know that I've hurt you. Locked you out and taken you for granted. I am sorry."

Lisbon stared past him, into the middle distance. For all Jane's usual dishonesty and manipulation he rarely apologised for anything. When he did it was sincere, so she should probably believe him. But she wasn't sure that she wanted to. Anger still filled her, overflowing like a river in spate. But he was at least trying. She thought for a moment and then turned back to Jane. She didn't even try to keep the contempt out of her voice.

"OK. So you've given me an explanation. I would like to say I forgive you but I can't. You let me down and this team down. Again! Rigsby's in the hospital and Bertram's going to have apoplexy. You've broken my trust and Cho's mad as hell with you. If you want to remain a part of this unit, you've got some serious reparations to make. Starting with an apology to Rigsby. You know, you'd best stay away from Cho for now, or at least keep to well lit places with lots of witnesses. He's a good agent and you're not going to bring him down. Thankfully van Pelt's still in LA so I don't need to worry about her shooting you. Not yet at least."

Jane nodded as he stared down the valley.

"I understand."

Rising to his feet, he grabbed the empty cups and threw them into the trash before heading back to the SUV. Lisbon swung back into the driver's seat and fired the ignition. Time to go see Rigsby, and then on to the office ready for the inevitable. Not only had she lost the Red John case. The whole CBI had lost it. To Homeland Security. That so didn't look good.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with The Mentalist in any way and make no money from fanfiction._

Halting at the exit, waiting for a break in traffic, Lisbon glanced across at Jane. He was sat in the passenger's seat, bowed over with his legs half curled towards his chest. He looked like a young hedgehog, unsure whether to go into full defence but still protecting his soft parts, keeping his back to his tormentor. She sighed heavily. Good! As long as he stayed like that there was a chance that they may both get back to the CBI without the roof of the SUV blowing off.

Turning right, Lisbon quickly reviewed the route in her mind. In 5 miles she needed to turn left and then right at the intersection after that. Then she needed to just keep driving until she was approaching Sac General. At least she could always rely on Cho. If he said he'd be there then he'd be there. No question.

Focusing her ire on her driving, Lisbon made short work of passing the vehicles in front. Now it was just the open road and she put her foot down, relieved that something was going right. The silence in the SUV had become thick and oppressive and, whilst she was determined not to take any notice, she could feel it beginning to chafe at her already over-sensitised brain. Reaching for the radio, she thumbed the switch and set the volume to loud. Mmm. Soft jazz. That would never do. Thumping the buttons viciously she scanned the channels to find something suitable. Talk shows, huh. No way! Ah. Heavy rock. That would be fine. She adjusted the volume once more till the sound thudded through the vehicle like they were holding their own private gig. She half glanced at Jane, willing him to flinch or make some kind of sarky comment. No response. Oh well.

Twenty minutes later, after an uneventful journey, Lisbon pulled up in front of the hospital and killed the engine. Apart from a slight after-echo in her ears, there was silence. Jane shuffled a little and then straightened up, turning to face her and releasing his seat belt. He looked like a lost little boy but she really didn't care. Time to go and see her real team members.

"Jane." He looked back at her cautiously. "You are to wait here whilst I go see Rigsby."

"Ah, it's OK Lisbon. I'll come with."

"No!" She cut across him sharply. "You've caused enough trouble for one day."

Jane's stare became more intense as he responded to the challenge in her voice.

"I said I'm coming with you."

"You are not! That is a direct order. I am going to see Rigsby and you are not."

"OK." Jane held both hands up like he needed to defend himself. "I get it. You don't want me to upset the guys. Not as I would. Tell you what. Drop me off here."

He jumped out of the vehicle, grabbing his jacket and stretched. "You do what you have to do Lisbon. I'll make my own way back."

"How? You jackass!" Lisbon had leapt out of the car too and stood glaring at him from across the bonnet.

"Like you care! The bus my dear. You know, those large brightly coloured things that block the traffic…"

Lisbon's rage took off vertically and she threw the vehicle keys at Jane with all her strength. He sidestepped, smirking at her as they landed on the tarmac beside him.

"Oh, temper, temper. You best pick them up 'boss', you might need them."

Throwing his jacket back across his left shoulder, Jane pulled on his most confident persona and turned his back on Lisbon, walking away from the hospital towards the nearby shopping mall. Gritting her teeth, Lisbon retrieved the keys and marched into hospital reception, heading first to the restroom to give herself a moment. Neither Cho nor Rigsby deserved to see her in this state. And before she went up to the ward, she'd find out about Lenin. OK, it was almost certain that he was dead but you didn't get to be a cop, or survive the job long, without double checking.

Walking up to the admissions desk, Lisbon drew on all her professionalism and smiled reassuringly, drawing the badge from her pocket.

"I'm Agent Lisbon, Miss – the name badge was hard to make out - Shepherd. With the California Bureau of Investigation. I was wondering if you could update me about a casualty we found this morning? He'd been shot. Name of Jason Lenin?"

The administrator shuffled in her seat a little. Lisbon almost felt sorry for her. She looked to be new on the job and young enough to be on work experience. The girl fidgeted a little more and then reached out for the badge to examine it closely. Satisfied, she tapped the name into her computer.

"Yes, ma'am. He's in ICU in a medically induced coma. I understand that he's under police protection. Your colleagues there should be able to tell you more."

"Ah. Thank you. That's what I needed to know. And now could you tell me where I can find Agent Wayne Rigsby? He was brought in this morning after a collision. I understand that you're keeping him overnight for obs?"

The girl chewed on her index fingernail, evidently a little overwhelmed by the cop in front of her. Lisbon started to wonder if her anger was still more apparent than she'd thought.

"Agent Rigsby. Yes, he's in room 315. If you take the elevator," she gestured to the left, "and then turn right, you'll find him down that corridor. Third floor."

Lisbon smiled in what she hoped was a supportive and reassuring manner before turning and heading for the elevator. She'd have time to confront Kirkland later, after the inevitable run in with Bertram. For now it was enough to be here for her team.

Well, the directions had been clear. Peering through the window of room 315 she could see Rigsby propped up in bed with Cho sat nearby, leaning on his elbows as he listened to his partner. No more plastic chairs by the looks of it. She'd best grab one from near the nurses' station.

Ready with her chair, Lisbon swept into the room, smiling a little shyly at Rigsby. "Wayne, how are you doing?"

Rigsby reached up to clasp her proffered hand momentarily before sinking back into his pillows. "Been worse boss. Should be outta here tomorrow so they say. And back at work next week."

Lisbon nodded, drawing up her chair. "That's good to hear but take what time you need Rigs. Make sure that you're OK."

She turned to her second-in-command. "Thank you, Cho."

"S'OK, boss."

They all sat in silence for a few minutes and Lisbon wondered what she'd been thinking. She could have stopped by the shop on the way in for something for Rigsby. Reading material or eatables. She'd make sure that she did on the way out. Drop them back for him.

Almost as if he sensed her awkwardness, Rigsby spoke. "So boss, baseball or basketball?"

"Baseball! No contest." She smiled. With 3 younger brothers she knew all that was worth knowing.

An hour later, Lisbon took her leave, her spirits lifted from time spent with her boys. She had almost reached the SUV when the phone rang. 9am. Right on cue. Bertram's office.

"Yes. Yes, Alicia." Bertram's PA sounded even more scatty than usual this morning. "10am in his office. I've got it. I'll be there."

Sheep dip. This was going to be interesting. But, as she knew well, sometimes the only way out is through. Time to pull on those 'big girl panties' and deal.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you to Ilovetea for the kind words as I'm unable to PM you._

_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the Mentalist in any way and make no money from fanfiction._

Well here she was. Waiting in the reception area of Bertram's office suite. Lisbon checked her watch again, realising that she was early so it would be a while before the boss called her in. She was perched on the low red sofa but it really wasn't comfortable. In front of her Alicia sat behind a long oak desk, guarding the entrance to the hallow of hallows. Suddenly Lisbon checked herself. What had she just thought? Hell, she was beginning to sound like Jane! To let his disrespect and disregard for all authority infect her. That definitely wouldn't do. She needed to clean up her act and fast. Or whatever the esteemed director decided to throw at her would be justified. She needed to remember her place. And, right now, that place wasn't good.

Alicia looked busy, typing away, probably answering e-mails. But it was obvious from the surreptitious glances and the way she nibbled at the edge of her lip that things were not encouraging. But that was hardly a surprise. Lisbon tried to make herself busy by scrolling through the messages on her phone. It was a shame there were no new ones. But what did she expect? Rigsby was in the hospital. Cho had now gone home for some well-earned sleep, like Carl, and Jane… She wasn't going to think about Jane. And, facing facts here, apart from her colleagues, who else was going to contact her?

She stared at the clock on the wall wondering if the boss was in yet. 10.02am. She caught Alicia's eye for a second before looking away and taking refuge in reading her texts again. And again. Much as she would have liked to pace, she resisted the urge. That was not done and it would not help.

10.05am. Three whole minutes had elapsed. It felt like three hours.

The phone on Alicia's desk started to ring, its shrill tones demanding attention. Lisbon watched as the administrator answered it, duly deferential and obsequious. Alicia then turned to Lisbon indicating the door behind her.

"Director Bertram will see you now."

Lisbon swallowed down the acid in her throat and, remembering her manners, thanked Alicia before throwing her shoulders back and walking as confidently as possible to Bertram's door. The feel of Alicia's eyes on her, following every twitch and fumble, did not help but she held her resolve. Knocking, carefully and clearly, she waited a moment and then pushed open the door in response to Bertram's command to enter.

"Ah, Agent Lisbon. Do have a seat."

She sat deliberately on the simple chair in front of his desk. Bertram leant back in his throne-like seat and regarded her in his superior manner, tapping the fingers of left hand with the pen he held in the other. Lisbon waited quietly, her gaze held slightly downwards as a sign of respect. "Sir."

"Yes. Unfortunate business this. Very unfortunate. I trust by now that you know that Homeland Security has taken over the Lorelei Martin's case?"

"Yes, sir. We found out this morning when trying to apprehend Martins and a confirmed accomplice of Red John."

"Confirmed accomplice?"

"Yes, sir. Given Martins' recent history, we suspected that she was targeting people she believed were implicated in her sister's death. After the events at the Plaza yesterday – a shootout in which a security guard was injured as Martins attempted to abduct one of the shelter trustees - we decided to keep watch on each of them for their safety. Given that it was late in the day when Martins motivation became clear based on the available evidence, and particularly given the immediacy of the threat to life, I chose to act. Not to wait till today to get the backup spend approved but to go ahead with the resources available."

"I see. So, Agent, you decided on a stake out to protect four influential members of this community, without adequate resources or backup, because you believed that a threat was imminent and you hadn't 'had time' to authorise additional resource through the usual channels."

"That is correct sir."

"And how does Jane fit into all of this? What was his role?"

"Well… It was Jane who identified the immediacy of the danger and alerted me. When Cho, Rigsby, Carl and I subsequently went out on stake-out duty, Jane stayed in the office reviewing the files and the collected evidence once more. At approximately 2.30am he saw the missing link – some err some fishing line - and connected this to Lenin's profile. He then rang Rigsby to warn him, in time to hear a crash before the line went dead. At this point he called me with his suspicions that Martins was at Lenin's house and that Rigsby was injured. Cho and I scrambled to Rigsby's aid, and I called Carl when I was on the way. I got there to find Cho already on scene. He was assessing Rigsby's condition and had called the ambulance, which arrived soon after.

As soon as the paramedics had taken a look at Rigsby and deemed his condition not to be life threatening, I went in search of Jane as I'd seen his car and realised he must have come to assist. I also wished to check on Mr Lenin given the potential danger. On entering the residence, I found the homeowner on the floor. He had been shot and was unconscious and not breathing. Jane was attempting CPR. I called Cho for backup – he had been managing the crime scene at Rigsby's SUV and assisting the paramedics – and together we worked on Lenin until medical personnel arrived. As Lenin was being loaded into the ambulance, Kirkland appeared with a team of armed officers, who physically removed Jane from the vicinity of the vehicle and blocked Cho and I from approaching further. Kirkland took up position in the back of the ambulance, shouting orders to the effect that Homeland Security was now in charge of the Martins case, and they departed. I understand from speaking with the hospital this morning that Mr Lenin is in a critical condition in ICU. He will be kept in a medically induced coma for the foreseeable future and is under police guard.

May I ask, sir, did you know that Homeland Security was taking the case? What is their interest?"

"Agent, I hope that I don't need to point out to you just how humiliating it is for the CBI that Homeland Security feels a need to investigate one of our teams? And that, owing to various irregularities and nonconformities within said team, they are sufficiently concerned to intervene directly. In what is, I should not need to remind you, both a very high profile case of intense public interest and one which has remained unsolved now for over a decade. I can only impress upon you how fortunate we are as a Bureau that Bob has kindly agreed to keep the matter confidential.

As a matter of fact, Lisbon, both Kirkland and I have some significant issues with the Serious Crimes Unit and the professional standards being maintained within that unit. Now I don't think the issue, you will be pleased to hear, lies with Agents Cho, Rigsby and van Pelt, or Carl for that matter. Sure standards have been allowed to slip but they are all good agents and the situation isn't irredeemable. No. The problem is leadership, Agent Lisbon. You have given us serious cause for concern and room to doubt your judgement, especially when it comes to your consultant! Jane is a law unto himself. We all know that. And he closes cases. That cannot be disputed. But he is also a liability. And particularly so when it comes to his involvement with Ms Martins. Given their personal history, it beggars belief that you have let him remain associated with the Red John case and with Martins in particular. And, to put it bluntly, it is apparent that his motivations and methods are, at best, suspect. And his allegiance is questionable."

Lisbon sat with her head in her hands. So much for her plan to show no weakness. She'd expected trouble but not this bad. She really didn't know what to say but she could have kicked herself as the same old excuse fell from her mouth. "Jane may be unconventional in his approach, but he closes cases."

"Indeed. Jane is, or at least has been, a valuable asset to the CBI. But, unless you can control him effectively, and truth be told there is very little evidence that you can, he is such a loose cannon that he may no longer be worth the risk.

I am putting you both on warning. One more screw up Agent Lisbon and you will be fired. If you do not demonstrate that you can control and lead your team effectively, there is no place for you here. Regarding Jane, if you do not handle him appropriately, I will try him in a different team. But I am aware of his 'foibles'. If that doesn't work then his days with the Bureau will be over. Red John or no Red John.

Do I make myself clear Agent?"

"Yes, sir. Absolutely."

"Good. Now I understand that Agent Rigsby is hospitalised and won't be back until next week. And I am withdrawing Carl from the influence of your team. He will be redeployed. Given van Pelt is in LA for another month that leaves the Serious Crimes Unit at less than critical mass. Therefore you will be taken out of rotation until Agent Rigsby returns to work. I suggest that you use the time wisely Lisbon. There is outstanding paperwork on a number of your cases. I trust that you will be sufficiently professional to complete this. If I do need to bring in another agent in your place I can assure you that they will inherit enough problems without dealing with things that you should have finished. You owe them that much."

Lisbon continued to stare at her shoes dumbfounded.

"If you have no questions Agent then that will be all. Good day to you."

Lisbon rose, leaving the office and heading down to the SUV on autopilot. What was she going to do?"


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or favourited and especially the guest reviewers._

_Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with the Mentalist and make no money from fanfiction._

Lisbon drove back to the CBI in a daze. She'd made her way through security, up in the elevator and across the bullpen before she'd really noticed. Her office door was unlocked. Of course! She'd left Jane here the previous evening with strict instructions to stay. Was that really only 12 hours ago?

Unclipping her badge and removing her gun and holster, Lisbon placed the items on her desk before sinking into the couch. A night without sleep followed by a morning of emotional turmoil was taking its toll. She felt beaten down and exhausted. Not to mention angry, hurt and betrayed. First Jane, then Bertram. Sometimes it felt like her whole life was sacrificed to the needs and egos of two powerful and manipulative men who cared not one iota for her. Her job? Once she would have said career but that was a joke now. Her life? Her future? She'd given everything she had to the force. All those years of long, unpredictable hours, missed weekends and unpaid overtime. And what had she to show for it. Nothing! No home nor family and certainly no prospects. Was this burnout? This sense of being just a husk, an empty shell?

But first things first. She should contact Cho and Rigsby. Make sure that they knew their jobs were safe. And talk with Carl so that he understood that being moved was no reflection on him or his performance. Much as she hated doing things by text, all three men were likely sleeping and she didn't know for how long so it was probably for the best. Though she wasn't sure if Rigsby would have his phone on him. She could drop by the hospital again this afternoon. And they'd all have a chance to talk with her about it later in the week. What she wouldn't tell them – about Bertram's ultimatum regarding both her and Jane – wouldn't trouble them on their rest day.

Now it was time for paperwork, starting with the reports on last night's incidents and Rigsby's injuries. Yawning as the concrete pillars supporting her eyelids gave out, Lisbon was asleep before she knew it.

* * *

Lunchtime came and went. For Jane, secluded in his attic, it wasn't important. He'd eaten a good breakfast at the mall this morning, giving Lisbon time to make her way up to see Rigsby. Then he'd made a few discreet enquiries concerning both Rigsby and Lenin, before making his way back to the CBI by taxi. Nothing that he could do for or with Lenin at the moment. And it wasn't the best time to catch his teammate given that both an angry Cho and an irate Lisbon were with him.

It had been an uncomfortable morning. During his time in Vegas and the months since his return, Jane was dimly aware that he'd pursued Red John with the full strength of his tunnel vision. And given that Lorelei was the weak link, the first real chance in years that he'd had to get close to his nemesis, he'd been more than obsessional in his behaviour towards and about her. Now he was beginning to realise what that may have looked like from the outside. To Lisbon and the team. The door on the rundown basement in his memory palace, where he dumped all the stuff he didn't wish to look at, was now swinging open. And the filing system in there may have been crappy but the general tone and colour of the entries was clear.

_"I am not your girlfriend, I am an officer of the law." _

_"I may have some feelings for her…" _

_"I am your partner, not her. You need to honest with me."_

_"An ultimatum Lisbon?"_

_"Teresa, one day you might have to manage this on your own. I'll go along but only to get you started."_

_"I think you do it to be close to Teresa Lisbon. You're a little bit in love with her."_

_"We were lovers him and me. Did he tell you?"_

Lovers… Lovers… Lovers…

Him and Lorelei? Never in a million years and as many re-incarnations! He'd given her one night of sex as payment for entry into the 'crimson club' and, as a matter of pride he tried to make it at least passably good for her, even if a little on the basic side. Accordion playing 101. For him, not only would it not make the top ten, it would be down in the bottom five.

But that's not what it would have looked like to Lisbon. She cared deeply for him, he knew. They had shared a close and hitherto unbreakable friendship. No matter what shit he pulled. All the calls during his time in Vegas demonstrated that, as did her hollow and exhausted appearance when he'd returned. But now he had crossed the line. He had taken both her friendship and the feelings that she harboured for him and tossed them on the dungheap, all so he could spend time with Red John's floozy, even breaking the law every which way to assist Lorelei. He hadn't meant to. He just hadn't been paying attention. Some mentalist he was!

Jane stood in front of his attic window, gripping the ledge so fiercely that his fingers hurt. As he stared out over the Sacramento skyline a tear escaped and slid down his face, plopping onto the floor.

All that he'd done over Lorelei was bad enough but it wasn't the whole story. Not even close. As the ultimate cruelty he had set Lisbon's values against each other. Loyalty to her team and to him against her job as a law enforcement officer, and her belief in justice and the system. Her independent nature against her longing and love for him. He knew full well that struggling with those levels of internal conflict destroyed people. Drove them to depression and mental breakdown. So why had he done that to her? He had stomped right through her abandonment issues and her insecurities. And on top of that, he had undermined the self-respect that she took from being a professional who made a difference. Who protected the weak and vulnerable, found closure for the bereaved and gave a voice to the voiceless. Hell he was a bastard! An arrogant and ignorant jerk and a son-of-a-bitch. Worthlessness and despair yawned in his torso like a bottomless sink hole and it took all the strength he had left not to succumb to its gravity. He was a curse to those he loved.

He'd always regarded Lisbon as being a bit like a mille-feuille, one of those wonderful flaky pastries that she liked. Layers of order, structure and authority glued together with sweetness and compassion. He'd always known that there was some grit underneath. There had to be for her to have survived her childhood and raised her brothers, not to mention then widening her circle of concern by becoming a cop. And taking on a wreck like him. But when he stepped back and started to think about things now, it looked like it wasn't so much grit which formed her foundation but a block of solid sandstone. And he had reached it. Her resilience was something to be thankful for. His behaviour, less so.

If he valued Lisbon's friendship and wellbeing, not to mention his place in the team, he needed to make reparations. And quickly. At the thought of losing Lisbon, and of having hurt her, nausea crawl through his stomach and up into his windpipe. The acid burn made it difficult to breathe. She was the light in his life. The only thing in the whole sorry mess that sustained him. Not even the possibility of revenge would have kept him going all these years. Not through the worst of the downers. And more than that, he cared. He hated to see Lisbon worried and upset. And he prided himself on being the most alert and observant person in the room. At least normally. What the hell had he done?

He needed to find Lisbon. To talk with her and mend fences. Eat not only crow but a whole rookery if necessary. But, for once, he had no idea what to say. He also supposed he'd best find out what Bertram, that moon-faced weasel, had been up to since he would surely have summoned Lisbon at some point in the morning. The CBI Director was one vindictive and self-centred son-of-a-bitch, that was for sure.

Leaving his solitude and making his way into the empty bullpen, Jane decided for once to knock gently before walking in on Lisbon. There was no reply but the door was unlocked so it was fair game. Peering in, Jane saw her slumped on the sofa, fast asleep. He watched her for a few moments, concerned that her posture would leave her with back and neck ache and noting how pale and drawn she looked. His heart flooded with tenderness for his beautiful little princess.

Taking a chance, he decided to intervene. Gently he eased her from a sitting position to a lying one, bringing her feet up onto the couch and settling her head on a cushion. Grabbing the blanket from Lisbon's filing cabinet, Jane slipped off her shoes and covered her up, resisting the urge to caress her cheek. Guilt welled inside as he realised just how exhausted Lisbon must be not to stir and he wondered whether to stay and watch over her. But that was just silly and would not be appreciated, he knew. Rousing himself, he closed the blinds before creeping out of her office and heading out of the building.

* * *

**_A/N Thank you for all the reviews. It will be a few days now until the next update since the next chapter is only half written._**


	8. Chapter 8

_Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed or favourited and particularly to the guest reviewers as I can't reply directly. Lorna, thank you for your comments._

_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the Mentalist and make no money from fanfiction_

Lisbon woke suddenly, surprised to find herself on the couch in her office. Judging by her watch, it was now mid-afternoon. She sat up, throwing off the blanket and searching for her shoes. Someone had been in whilst she was asleep. Usually she'd have said Jane but could it be? She'd be surprised if he was anywhere other than his attic, his motel room or on the way to Malibu.

Grabbing her go bag, she headed to the gym to shower and freshen up, before picking up her badge and gun and heading off to the hospital. On the way she called Cho and left a voicemail for him, "Hey Cho, it's Lisbon. We're stood down till Rigsby's back but otherwise business as usual. See you tomorrow."

Arriving at the hospital lot she turned first towards the mall. What would Rigsby like? Some sandwiches, some fruit, a pile of chips and some candy. That would do for starters. Pizza was too greasy for him to eat in bed. Or at least that's what she thought and that's what mattered now. Once she was well stocked up on food, Lisbon turned her attention to the newsagents. Something for his brain. Crosswords or Sudoku maybe, or, knowing Rigsby, perhaps a word search book? She'd also grab a pack of cards. They could always play blackjack to pass the time and there was a good chance that Cho would drop by later too.

Heading back to the hospital, Lisbon bypassed the information desk and made her way straight to Rigsby's room. Approaching the door, she was shocked when it opened and Patrick Jane emerged. He was so pre-occupied that he didn't even see her and his face was screwed up like he was fighting back tears. Oh no, what had happened now?

"Jane," she called, knowing that she couldn't just let him turn and walk away. He startled and straightened. She watched as he struggled to pull his usual mask of nonchalance back onto his face. Most of his features were getting there but the acute pain in his eyes drew her in. This wasn't the shadowed chronic pain that consumed him sometimes, like one of Tolkein's wraiths. This was something new. What had gone on in there? What had Rigsby said?

"Ah, Lisbon." His voice was almost steady but not steady enough.

"Are you OK?" She was definitely worried now.

"Oh, what me? Ah, yeah. Never better."

This was bad. He wasn't even attempting to deceive her. A 4 year old child could have called him out as a liar. She walked up to him, reaching out with her left hand to squeeze his upper arm momentarily, dropping the shopping bags on the floor.

"Look, do me a favour huh? We need to talk. Can you meet me in the café downstairs in 10 minutes?"

Jane nodded and smiled weakly. At least that was more honest.

"10 minutes, yeah I can do that. See you there."

Turning into Rigsby's room, she could see her agent was gazing at the door with the kind of distant yet determined stare that she'd only ever seen once, when his father had been discussed. It looked like the gentle giant might have kicked Jane's butt! And all without leaving his bed.

A couple of seconds later Rigsby looked at her properly and his face broke into his usual welcoming grin.

"Boss! Good to see you."

"You too. You're looking brighter than this morning."

Lisbon drew up the chair before continuing.

"I've fetched you some presents. Which do you want first? The eatables or the boredom beaters?"

"You need to ask? Eatables it is."

As he peered into the carrier bag his face lit up like a pre-schooler at Christmas. "Oh boss, you shouldn't have."

"No problem." Lisbon smiled and reached over with the second bag. "You just focus on getting well."

"I will, don't worry. So how's things."

"Oh, OK. I came to tell you, Homeland Security has grabbed the Lorelei Martins case."

"Mmm. Cho said earlier." Rigsby shuffled himself a little more upright eyeing Lisbon with concern. "What's the fallout?"

"Look, you don't need to worry. Bertram assures me that he knows that you, Cho and van Pelt are all exemplary agents and that nothing in this 'situation' reflects on Carl. Given the circumstances, Carl will be reassigned. Cho, Jane and I are stood down because the team isn't at critical mass and we will spend the time catching up with paperwork. Or at least Cho and I will. It gives us a good opportunity I guess. Then it'll be back to business next week."

"That's all?"

"Yes. For you, Cho and van Pelt that is all. Jane and I have both caught a bit of heat – and I need to tell him about it in a moment – but nothing that won't blow over.

I've left a text and a voicemail for Cho but I didn't get to speak with him. If you see him, will you pass on my message about it being business as usual except for the break from rotation?"

Rigsby stared at her like he could see straight through her evasions but he had decided not to press it further. Relieved, Lisbon continued. "And what was happening with you and Jane just now?"

"Oh nothing much boss. He came to apologise for his behaviour recently and we had a little discussion about some of the realities of police work. That's all. You can ask him yourself."

Rigsby watched Lisbon carefully, almost daring her to push back. She decided against it. If she did he'd want details on the Bertram meeting that she had no intention of sharing with him. It was time to take a break and leave Rigsby to get acquainted with the contents of the carrier bags.

"I'm heading out again now Wayne. Sorry it's a short visit but it'll give you a chance to sample the food. I'll be back again tonight, probably 7 or 7.30 ish."

Rigsby nodded, "Thanks for stopping by. And for all this, boss. But do me a favour please?"

"What's that?"

"Take care of yourself. If it comes to a break with Jane, we all have your back. You know that don't you?"

He looked so earnest that Lisbon couldn't find the energy to be mad at him for poking into her business. She simply nodded and left the room as Rigsby slumped back against his pillows.

When Lisbon got down to the café, Jane was already there. He'd bought a tea for himself and a coffee for her along with some sticky pastries. At least he was looking brighter and had done as she'd asked. She slipped into a seat opposite him.

"Jane, you OK?"

"Yeah. Look Lisbon, I'm sorry". He fiddled with a napkin, twirling and untwirling it with his fingers. "About this morning and about everything recently. I know I've behaved like a complete ass and I've hurt you and the team."

Lisbon stared at him in shock. An apology from Patrick Jane! And one given freely. Was the world about to end? She returned his gaze carefully, scanning his face for any hints of deception. He seemed genuinely contrite. Whatever Rigsby had said, it seemed to have made a difference.

Lisbon thought for a moment before replying. Determinedly she stared back into his eyes.

"Thank you for your apology. I do appreciate that and also that you have noticed that your behaviour hurt the people around you. What are your plans now Jane, do you want to remain with the unit or not? It's not just me that you need to smooth things over with."

Jane squirmed in his seat like a little boy who needed the toilet.

"Yes I do. If you'll still have me? What did Bertram say?"

"Oh only that we're both on official warnings. Another screw up and I'll be fired. He might keep you around a little longer but only if you learn to play nicely and if not you'll be out too."

"Meh. The man's an ass."

Lisbon's head flew up.

"The _man_ is your boss. Have a little respect for once in your life, you jackass!"

Jane shrugged, biting his lower lip.

"Teresa, I don't know how to make this up to you but I truly am sorry."

He paused, assessing her like she was a bomb on its final countdown.

"I guess from what you're saying, the team isn't on suspension but we will be stood down until Rigsby's back, likely next week."

"That's correct." Lisbon's glare could have sliced through solid stone.

"Then I'd like to take a few days off. Go up to Malibu and think things through. A lot is starting to make sense to me in ways which aren't very comfortable. And it's going to take me a while to process it all. But if anything comes up that I can help with, anything at all, then just call and I'll come straight back."

Jane looked utterly defeated, and it moved Lisbon despite herself, but she wasn't going to let him off the hook. Not yet.

"Go up to Malibu... Is that code speak for chase after Lorelei?"

Jane leaned forward, reaching out to her with one hand and maintaining eye contact. "No. Lorelei and I are through. Done. I trusted her and she threw that back in my face. You may say 'I told you so'. You have every right".

Lisbon leaned forward, unconsciously mirroring Jane's posture, both their hands flat on the table. The she straightened, assuming a more authoritarian posture. "OK. Take some time off. I'll expect you back on Monday." She looked away hoping to hide the turmoil that rose inside her at the thought of Jane vanishing again. Now he reached right across the table to grab her fist.

"Teresa. I will come back. And I will be in Malibu, alone. You're welcome to put out a BOLO or to trace my phone if you don't believe me. Or hey, drive up and see me. I will check in with you, I promise. At least daily."

Lisbon visibly relaxed, despite berating herself for her stupidity.

"Good, I'll hold you to that. Now I'm going back to work. See you next week."

She stood and hurried out of the café leaving the cake and the half drunk cup of coffee behind her. Jane watched her go, the pain unguarded in his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed or favourited and particularly to the guest reviewers as I can't reply directly. Lorna and Ilovetea, thank you for your comments._

_Thanks also to Sue Shay for beta reading and pointing out some factual errors. Her help is much appreciated. As usual any mistakes are my own._

_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the Mentalist and make no money from fanfiction._

After pulling on her black blazer, Lisbon clipped on her badge and secured the holster. Friday lunchtime at last! Tucking her work phone into her pocket – she wasn't going to be parted from that – she grabbed her laptop, placing it in the top desk drawer and locking it away. A weekend not on call meant a weekend not needing the thing, strange though it felt to leave it, like leaving home in the morning after forgetting to put any pants on. Checking round her office one last time, Lisbon sighed as she thought back over the week. The disastrous Lorelei Martins' affair, and the loss of the Red John case. That weighed heavily. It was shaming. She could still feel her cheeks flame whenever she remembered that interview with Bertram.

And Jane. Why did her heart always stutter at the thought of her arrogant and conceited consultant? At least he'd stayed in touch this time. Like he'd promised. But she could still wring his neck for all the worry his absence caused her. For the way that her thoughts obsessed about him, and the schoolgirl surge of delight she felt whenever one of his texts arrived. Day or night she pounced on the phone like it was an escaped hamster. At best, pathetic and worse, downright unprofessional. She wished she knew how this had happened, but her feelings for her irreverent partner had evolved so slowly that she hadn't noticed. Not until she was jerked into reality by his stint in Vegas and his 'come hither' dance with Red John's mistress. She had to face facts! Come hell or high water, she was bonded to an inconsiderate and blinkered jackass who cared very little for anyone but himself. But bonded she was. The longing that consumed her whenever he wasn't near was overwhelming, as was the constant need to reach for the phone before she checked herself severely. Addicted to his presence. It was degrading. Humiliating. And it could only get worse if he found out.

Three days since she'd seen him. And probably another three before he was back. At least Rigs was OK though. That was a relief. She offered a quick prayer to express her gratitude that her agent would be back at work on Monday.

Lisbon grabbed the pile of completed files, holding it to her with her left arm while she rummaged for the office key. At least a few days without cases, or complaints about Jane, had made a real difference to her pile of uncompleted paperwork. At this rate, another day or so and she'd be up to date. And then what? Staff competency reviews? Recommendations for training courses, for which there were no budgets? Or safety policy review? Much as she felt guilty about wishing someone dead, she couldn't help but hope that next week brought more excitement.

Closing her door, she nodded to Cho who was sat at his desk engrossed in another paperback. He already knew that she'd be gone till Monday and there was nothing more to say. Walking over to the bullpen entrance, Lisbon dropped her files in the outgoing internal mail with a sense of accomplishment. That would keep archive in filing for a while and the electronic versions had already been submitted. At least she'd achieved something in the last few days.

* * *

Pulling up at the church, Lisbon waited. She was a little early for the 2 o'clock service and didn't want to disturb any of the mourners who were taking their final leave. She palmed her phone. No messages. And nothing yet today from her so-called partner. Leaving the vehicle, she walked for a while, returning to slip inside just as the priest walked onto the altar. She listened to the funeral service, joining in where appropriate and singing the hymns. The words flowed over her. So familiar now, after 10 years in homicide and hundreds of committals.

As the congregation rose – a few relatives and some people that she recognised from the shelter – Lisbon hung back, before following them to the graveyard and standing at a respectful distance. Sometimes doing this helped catch the killer or uncover motive. Sometimes it was a simple act of solidarity with the deceased. Like now. '_You mattered. You were murdered. I will search for justice for you.'_

A few minutes later, it was over. The coffin had been lowered and the blessings said. Now she waited, watching the living as they huddled and hugged before dispersing to the reception.

Satisfied that she'd done her duty, Lisbon turned seeking out the bench near the entrance of the graveyard. Startled, she stopped. A blonde figure in a navy 3-piece suit now occupied it, legs crossed and hands resting in his lap. Jane! What was he doing here?

"Jane?" She cringed as she heard her voice, lilting upwards with eagerness as she hurried over. She really should know better. Be professional. But that ship had long sailed.

"Lisbon. Thought I might find you here."

She forced herself to stop as she approached the bench. Taking the opposite side, as far away as possible, she sat and regarded him.

"Of course I would be here. I know that we have the killer's identity and motive already but…"

"I know, Lisbon. I get it. That's why I'm here too."

Shock stopped Lisbon momentarily. "You what?"

Jane sat up a little straighter and fiddled with his wedding band as he replied.

"Julia Howard was a human being. A living, breathing person. And Lorelei killed her. And yes, Julia was implicated somehow in the murder of Lorelei's sister. But that doesn't make what happened to her right. And I'm so sorry that I tried to tell you that it did."

As Lisbon listened, he gazed away, across the headstones, with a thousand yard stare.

"So I'm here to watch. To remind myself that her loved ones are grieving and they don't deserve it. Hell, I don't even know if _she_ did. Did she ally herself with Red John through choice or did Lenin have something over her? I don't know.

When it comes to making mistakes I can't exactly claim the high ground, now can I?"

He turned to Lisbon with a smile so tight that he looked to be in pain. Intuitively, she started to reach for him, to grasp his arm and reassure him, but she engaged the override. There was more that she needed from him if some of the damage was to be mendable, although she noted the flicker of pain that flashed across Jane's face at her hesitation. She remained silent, encouraging him to continue. Jane looked away again.

"Can you forgive me? I know that I did some terrible things. Once the tunnel-vision lifted, I was horrified at myself. Not for the first time."

Lisbon stood, walking to a nearby tree and picking at its bark. She couldn't look at him at the moment but there were still things that she needed to know.

"Do you see what you've done? To the team? To me?"

Jane came to stand alongside her. "Yes." He looked down as if ashamed. "I abused your trust and your loyalty. I made a lot of poor choices and dragged you through the dirt without even giving you a say in the matter. I am so sorry."

He shuffled one foot in the dirt, eyeing the toecap as it disturbed the dust.

"Lisbon, I… I really don't know what to say. There are some things that I just don't learn. I became obsessive over my career to the point that I cost Angela and Charlotte their lives. And now, now I go and do it again. You know, from the moment that little girl, Hayley, came up to me in the cemetery, all I could think about was what Red John would do to her. I had to keep her safe, no matter what. And to protect the other people in my life. Yes, revenge was a part of it, but it was never the whole or even the majority. I just got so blind…

It's not that I didn't care, Lisbon, please don't think that. I still saw what was going on around me but somehow I just didn't process it. I didn't know what I was doing. It's only now, when I look back, that I really see…"

Looking at Jane, Lisbon could see the self-loathing was back on his face. Not an unfamiliar look but one which still hurt her. At least she didn't doubt now that Jane's contrition was genuine. But was it enough?

"I understand what you're saying Jane but there's something I need to know. What happens next time? How can I stop you? Make you share and be a part of this team?"

Jane eyed her wearily. "I will try to do better Lisbon, that's all I can say." He looked as dejected as a kitten left out in the rain. She couldn't even guess when his hair had last seen a comb, or his face a razor.

Lisbon took a deep breath. Relief surged through her to see that 'her' Jane was back and that perhaps she meant something to him after all. But her natural caution nagged at her: was this for real or just a temporary measure to get her forgiveness and re-join the team? They all needed Jane back, she knew. After all he closed cases. But what should she do? Musing for a moment, she came to a decision, hoping beyond hope that it was the right one.

"OK Jane, I accept your apology and I will allow you to remain with the unit, at least for now. But there are some conditions."

"Yes?"

She thought about this carefully. Even when he was playing ball, selecting the right wording was crucial with Jane. Her stomach churned in apprehension and it didn't help that he was watching her like he was reading her responses from inside her head. Unnerving but totally 'Boy Wonder like'.

"You will apologise to Cho and Rigsby and your continuance is subject to them being able to work with you. And you will stop locking me out. Whatever insights you have, whatever suspicions, you will share them with me. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, boss."

For once, Lisbon could detect no hint of mockery. It looked like Jane was prepared not only to eat his hat but his jacket, vest and shirt as well. He continued to gaze at her, and she felt him monitoring her levels of sincerity like she was the suspect. But he was not having a hug from her. Not here. Not now. There was just no way. Her heartbeat would respond, so help her, and he would notice.

Jane broke eye contact and straightened his back. He must've decided to take what he could get. A few moments later he grasped her arm.

"Lisbon, thank you. I mean it. I do appreciate you and the team even if I have some stupid ways to show it."

His face broke into a shy smile.

"You going straight back or will you have lunch with me? A sub from Cornaro's perhaps, and some ice cream for dessert? My treat. Give us a chance to get re-acquainted?"

Lisbon knew she was sunk. That was an offer she wasn't going to refuse, especially given she wasn't on the clock now. She felt alive again for the first time in months and the more time that she could spend with him the happier she would be.

"OK. We can grab lunch. But then I need to go. Tommy and Annie are coming over for the weekend and I have stuff to do. We're off to Long Beach first thing tomorrow."

Lisbon set off back to her vehicle, with Jane following like a tame lapdog. As she unlocked the SUV, he slid into the passenger's seat looking far more perky, more like a pushy stray than an obedient pooch. But she only had herself to blame. She had let him in and given him a roof over his head after all. It was Jane so what else could she expect?

Slumping in his seat, Jane yawned.

"I'll have lunch with you and then I need a nap. Later I'll go see Rigsby. You can drop me back off here, can't you?"

It wasn't really a question and Lisbon just shrugged. If he was the pet Alsatian in their relationship, how come it was her on his leash?

Her high maintenance associate was back. Perhaps a few days of quiet paperwork hadn't been that bad after all!


	10. Chapter 10

_Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed or favourited and particularly to the guest reviewers as I can't reply directly. Lorna and Ilovetea, thank you for your comments._

_Thank you also to Sue Shay for her time and expertise in generously beta reading, reality checking and helpfully questioning. Check out Sue's current project "Ready or Not". The latest chapters are heartwarming and hilarious._

_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the Mentalist and make no money from fanfiction_

* * *

_5.15pm Friday, one week later_

Lisbon clicked the delete button on the final e-mail. Leaning back she rubbed the sore spot at the nape of her neck, whilst allowing herself a few moments of satisfaction. That was the last month's correspondence all dealt with – a few kept but most directed either to archive or to the recycling bin. It was a suitable job for a quiet Friday afternoon when she had no remaining paperwork to complete.

She still couldn't credit it. This week her desk had been blissfully empty by 5pm each night and today would be no exception. It felt a little weird - like somehow she was bunking off school - but she wasn't complaining. It was glorious, not craning over form after form till gone midnight. And not racking her brains to figure out how to customise the usual platitudes to make it look like she took the complaints against Jane seriously. Not that she didn't, but her stock of decent excuses had long since been exhausted so now she just recycled them as appropriate. What else could she do?

For the fifth time this week she was going home in daylight! And she had been able to make good use of the extra hours too. In between food shopping and finally filling her freezer, two nights at the gym and one at the swimming pool, she had a real sense of accomplishment. And, for tonight, she had the ultimate stress reliever planned. A couple of hours on the range with just her Glock and a set of paper targets to take down, followed by a quiet evening with take out, ice cream and a re-run of Casablanca. It had been good to remind herself that, whilst contracted hours belonged to Bertram, her free time was hers to either give to the CBI or not as the case may be.

Lisbon shut down her computer. She'd check for e-mail again when she got to the range, just to make sure, but now she was outta here. Cho and Rigsby had already left. As for Jane, well he was probably lurking in his attic or somewhere. He wasn't in the bullpen. And she refused to worry about it.

Still, all things considered, it had been a good week. Rigsby was back. He was still on desk duty but healing well. Jane had evidently made his peace with the boys. She neither knew how nor cared, but it was encouraging to see. The three of them were working together calmly and professionally, possibly because Jane had been on his best behaviour. He hadn't spent much time in the bullpen but he had grabbed a fistful of cold cases. By the time she'd arrived on Monday morning, he had already cracked one, leaving her and Cho to do the honours. And by Wednesday afternoon, she'd been able to add a second to the closed board. The murder of a senator's daughter fifteen years ago. Bertram had even sent an e-mail of congratulation. Terse, like he it choked him – oh she could dream – but acknowledgement anyway. And it wasn't Bertram's thanks that really mattered. Senator Cohen had run for office as a means to do something about the drug and trafficking problems in California. He and his wife deserved every bit of closure it was possible to give them.

Stopping in front of the elevator, Lisbon pressed the call button and waited, reaching into her pocket to grasp the car keys. But just as the doors slid open, she heard a shout. Great! What now?

Jane leapt down the last three steps of the flight that led up to his den.

"Lisbon! Where are you going?"

"Home. Some of us have them you know." For a second she froze, realising that this wasn't the best thing to say to Jane but he hurried towards her regardless.

Glancing up at him for a second, Lisbon made sure to pointedly avert her gaze, hoping that her lack of interest was apparent. Then she stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the parking garage. As the doors slid together she saw the chagrined look on Jane's face but steeled herself not to react. At least not until his foot jammed the closing doors. Could he not take a hint, the jackass?

"Lisbon, where are you going? Don't lie to me."

She shook her head. Nope, jackass central. He may have been on good behaviour all week but the week was clearly over. What was she gonna say? Given he'd now joined her in the elevator, there was no escape.

"Jane, since when do I need to account for my movements? To anyone, let alone you?"

"Meh." Jane eyed her carefully. "Now be fair Lisbon, can you fault my work this week? Two closed cases and another three where I've found potential leads. Good work or what?"

Lisbon hung her head for a moment. OK, that had done it. She couldn't leave now without hearing him out but they'd be going to the park, not back into the building. Sighing, she glared at Jane, "Of all times… Spill."

The doors opened and the two co-workers exited the building together walking towards Lisbon's vehicle, Jane keeping his counsel for a few moments. When they'd almost reached the car, he paused, thrusting his hands into his jacket pockets and rocking back on his heels.

"Don't look like that Teresa, I'm not out to spoil your evening. If you want to spend your free time executing innocent and unresisting paper targets, be my guest. It's good to vent your aggression…"

He skipped back out of reach, ready for the fist of doom, but Lisbon just stared back at him with her faintly disbelieving smile. "OK, I'll bite. How did you know Boy Wonder?"

"Boy? Please. Can't you see that I'm a man? If you need glasses, I can recommend…"

"No! Thank you. There's nothing wrong with my vision. Your mental age is about six. Hence _Boy_ Wonder." Lisbon pulled her face into that forced smirk that said 'ha, got you mate' but too soon.

"If you think I'm a six year old, Mommy, you can't just leave me here. I'll have to go with you." He turned his best charming smile on her, full voltage. Lisbon paused, dazzled for a moment. Which was all the time Jane needed to slip into the passenger's seat. Damned, she'd been conned. Yet again.

Climbing into the driver's seat, Lisbon tried not to look at Jane. She didn't need to see the triumphant grin or to hear him gloat. It was time to take charge of the situation. If she could.

"OK Jane. You wanna talk. Let's talk. Which three cases? What have you found?"

"But Llliiisssbon, aren't we gonna go play with guns?"

He was staring at her with that 'you're a mark and what's more you should know it' expression. She longed to wipe it off his face. But this was Jane. He could twist anything.

"No, Jane." She was not going to beg. Silence was her best defence. Let him get bored. Come to her.

Lisbon stared into the middle distance, contemplating the barrier at the parking lot gate. Looked like it was Jim on security but she couldn't be sure since he was looking away. Now what else could she do? Time to count the vehicles hurtling past. One yellow van. One dark blue Ford. A truck with a trailer advertising some CBS programme. Not one she'd heard of.

A rustle next to her caught her attention and she turned back automatically. Jane was holding out a tube of mints. For Jane, that was almost an apology.

"Seriously, Lisbon, I'm not here to annoy you. How about, I'll go and get us some take out and we'll meet at yours in what, an hour and a half? I'll catch you up on those cases and then we can hang out for a bit. Talk. Maybe watch a movie. There's a couple of action films just been released. I know how much you like them…"

Wow, he really was trying, that was clear.

"I thought you hated them?" Lisbon called Jane out on it. "What are you playing at?"

Jane clasped his hands in his lap as he fidgeted for a moment. "Mending fences? Building bridges? That kinda thing." That look that she detested was back on his face. Like he was about to cry or be crushed by the weight of his failures. It left her with no choice.

She pulled her best mock stern face on, knowing that there was really no point. "OK. OK. 7.30 at mine. Not before. And I want Chinese and the Bruce Willis film or Liam Neeson. Either."

Jane's whole demeanour lifted, though she knew full well it was partly faked. "Thank you Lisbon." He reached over to pull her into a quick hug. "I'll see you later. Bearing gifts as promised." He didn't even tease her about Neeson himself not being available.

Jane had released the door catch, making as if to get out of the vehicle, when he leaned over to her instead, bringing his lips close to her ear. Her inhalation caught in her throat as she heard his whisper.

"Those oval emerald studs really suit you." A shudder rippled through her, his warm, moist breath electrifying the side of her neck, making her whole being lurch towards him. "But this one needs a little straightening. I'm guessing you didn't check your appearance carefully enough this morning?"

Teresa gripped the steering wheel, her whole body rigid as the tremors trilled up and down her from crown to toes. That was _so_ not his business but she couldn't stop the longing that surged through her, emotionally and physically. She fought to hold onto her reason and to hide her responses but it was a losing battle. She had no doubt that he knew.

Jane moved away again, giving her space, though his breathing looked a little erratic too, and a slight blush had stained his cheeks. It looked like she wasn't the only one with control issues. After a few minutes during which he stared out of his side window, he spoke.

"I'm sorry Lisbon. I shouldn't have done that. Not with Red John still out there. We're friends, right? And that's all we can be."

The heat drained from Lisbon's body like she'd been thrown into Iceberg Alley. Yes. Friends. That is what they were. The yawning crevasse inside was not going to swallow her whole. She was not shaking. She was no Lorelei. Of course he didn't want her. Not like that. He was just messing. All part of the con.

Slowly Lisbon regained control. Her stubbornness and determination were a life raft. They made her strong. She tried not to look at Jane but it didn't work. She could see him chewing his lower lip whilst the furrows in his forehead suggested deep thought.

Opening the car door, Jane still didn't look properly at Lisbon. He paused with his feet outside of the vehicle and his back to her. "7.30. Chinese. Willis or Neeson. Got it." Slamming the car door behind him, Jane was gone.

Lisbon crossed her forearms on the steering wheel and lowered her head against them. What was she going to do now?

* * *

7pm. Lisbon pulled into her parking space and locked the car. Just time for a coffee – the large Tigger mug at the back of the cupboard would be coming out – a relaxing shower and a change of clothes. And if Jane dared to turn up without a suitable movie and food, she would shoot him. She'd leave her off duty Glock near the door just in case.

Closing the front door, she locked it and put a chair under the handle. It wouldn't stop Jane getting in if he was early but she would at least hear him. Then flicking on the kettle Lisbon found the emergency mug and brewed her needed fix. Taking her coffee upstairs, she pulled out an old T-shirt – long with elbow length sleeves and a round neck – and a pair of sweatpants. Going into the bathroom, she grabbed the shower gel from the cupboard. The bottle claimed it was for stress relief allegedly. Well, it was time to test it.

Ten minutes later, showered and more comfortably dressed, Lisbon dragged a brush through her wet hair before pulling it back into a ponytail. That would have to do. She so wasn't making any effort for Jane and it was important that he should know this.

7.30pm. Right on cue, she heard the light rat-a-tat-tat on the front door. Jane's knock. She would know that anywhere. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself. First she moved the chair to the side and then she opened the door, peering round the edge to see what she was gonna have to face. There he stood. Same 3-piece suit. Jacket thrown over one arm and a bag of goodies in the other. Chinese. As she pulled the door right back, he bounded in like an exuberant Labrador. All caged energy and excitement.

"Ah, Lisbon. So how was the range?"

He'd already marched straight into her kitchen and was clattering through the cupboards.

"Good."

As Lisbon stood there, unsure what to do or where to put herself, Jane re-emerged with a pile of plates, two wine glasses and some chopsticks. He unpacked the bag, holding each dish up for inspection before emptying its carton onto one of the plates. Diving back into the kitchen, he re-emerged with a bottle of red which he must have brought, two tumblers and a jug of water. Pulling out her chair, he waved her over like she was a lost tourist looking for the information desk.

"Come on Lisbon. Don't let it go cold."

Lisbon, not Teresa. OK, that set the tone. And, gentlemanly though he was being, he was careful not to touch her when he seated her at the table. Yes, this was going to be OK. She could do this. They both could. The occasional flutters and the glow she could feel in her eyes could be ignored. And as for Jane… Whether there was something there or not, she was not going to look, was not going to see. Hell, she'll held it together after that Vegas 'Love you.' Even after the 'love you' followed by proof of his liaison with Lorelei. This was a piece of cake, right. And besides, they needed to talk shop. What were these three cold cases that he'd been boasting about?

* * *

An hour later, Lisbon lay curled up on the couch whilst Jane slumped in the armchair opposite. The food had been delicious. Not surprising given where it had come from. And it had been followed with more wine – just for her as Jane had switched to water after the first glass – and a decadent dessert. She was stuffed and sleepy, though she might still reach over and re-fill her wine glass. Jane looked similarly inert. She wondered if he was just going to fall asleep where he sat.

Staggering to his feet, Jane passed her the bottle of wine before sinking down again. He was looking a little more alert though so she wasn't too surprised when he began to speak.

"So tell me about last weekend. How was Long Beach? Tommy and Annie OK?"

Teresa took a sip of her wine before replying, feeling relaxed and at peace.

"Yeah, they're fine. Tommy's still bounty hunting but hey, you know, I've kinda started to accept that. It's dangerous and I fear for him sometimes but, you know, so is being a cop. So is teaching in a deprived neighbourhood, like Andrew, over in Baltimore. There's only James who has a 'safe' job. He's an accountant back in Chicago."

"Mmm-hmm." Jane leaned back in the armchair, closing his eyes, as Lisbon continued.

"So yeah. Tommy and Annie came over last Friday and we spent the night here, catching up on stuff. Tommy's doing better. He's not so worried about money. And Annie… She's fine. Doing well at school and still determined to be a cop. There's nothing I can say that'll dissuade her. She's taken up martial arts and self-defence. I'm kinda glad she can protect herself. And she's been an ace shooter since she was twelve. Learned in arcades and on video games. Last time I went to see her and her dad we spent some time on the range. She's pretty darned good."

"Sounds like she's well on track."

Lisbon took another sip before continuing. Her heart swelled at the thought of the feisty teenager who backed down from no-one and who was determined to follow in her aunt's cop footprints.

"She's working now, you know, most Saturdays. Going to pay for her way through college. She'll be off there next year. She'd growing up so fast. Every time I see her…."

Jane opened his eyes, looking at Lisbon tenderly.

"Sounds like all she needs now is the advanced first aid and running practice. She's already got the quick thinking and nerves of steel. I think she'll do very well."

Stretching his arms up, Jane sat up a little straighter.

"So, Long Beach. What did you do, leave here early?"

"Yeah, we got there around 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Checked in and then went down to the waterfront."

Stopping for a moment, Teresa swung her feet around to sit upright.

"It was a good day. We went round the Aquarium and took a trip out into the bay to see the sealions. Then had a slap up meal and just talked. On Sunday, Annie had her first surfing lesson in the morning. So needless to say, Tommy and I watched.

"And then we set off back. Stopped for lunch on the way.

"They left on Monday. Tommy had a job over in Nevada and Annie's on her school break so she went with him."

She glanced over at Jane. He was leaning forwards, giving her his full attention.

"Good. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Annie needs a strong mother figure."

"Pah. Me?!"

Refusing to take the bait, Jane reached for the small plastic bag that he'd fetched inside the larger one with the food in it. "So, my dear. Time for Liam Neeson or time to call it a night?"

Lisbon stretched as she yawned. "Liam Neeson and a good cup of coffee."

Jane stood up, shaking his legs to ease out the stiffness and pushing both arms up in an overhead stretch.

"Your wish is my command, dear."

He primed the DVD, making sure that the feature began to play. 'Taken II'. It promised excitement and violence. Moving to the kitchen, he prepared a tea for himself and a coffee for Lisbon. But when he returned to the living room, she was fast asleep.

Jane took a few moments to enjoy his tea, watching Lisbon sleep. She had curled back up on the couch and looked to be comfortable. Bringing the duvet from her bed, Jane covered her over, killed the television and silently made his way out, locking the door as he did so. With any luck Teresa would sleep till morning.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the Mentalist and make no money from fanfiction._**

**_Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed or favourited this fic. Especially thanks to Lorna, Ilovetea and Guest, to whom I can't reply directly._**

**_And thank you to Sue Shay, author of the heartwarming family fic 'Ready or Not', for beta reading and critiquing this chapter. Her help is invaluable._**

That was Monday over. One of Jane's hunches had turned into a solid lead, whilst another gave Rigsby something to be working on. Whilst he didn't have van Pelt's flair for investigative computing, he could still do a solid job. From what he'd turned up, it looked like there were two potential suspects, which was two more than a week ago.

Lisbon shrugged off her jacket and her gun. Time for a coffee and then a long hot bath.

Carrying her coffee upstairs, Teresa found a towel and began running the bath. As steam filled the small room, her shoulders relaxed. This was just what she needed. Rummaging in the cupboard, she found that the bottle of her favourite body wash was empty. Good job she'd remembered to buy some more, even if she had left it downstairs. Barefoot, she headed back to where she'd dumped the shopping bags, just inside the front door.

A shrill noise. Damn, it was her work phone. What had happened now?

"Agent Lisbon?" It was Kirkland, with his strange half cultivated, half condescending tone. There was only Jane who could pull that off as well. Or, in Jane's case, better.

Lisbon forced herself to be civil. No, he hadn't spoken to her since seizing her case at Lenin's house, and he had ignored her emails and phone messages but even if his behaviour was unprofessional, that was no reason for hers to be. Maybe he'd come to his senses. She could only hope.

"Kirkland. What can I do for you?"

"A courtesy heads-up, Lisbon. As you know, Homeland Security is now working the Red John case and the Lorelei Martins' file. However, given your longstanding interest in the case, and also Mr Jane's personal history, I thought you would like to know. Ms Martins' body was found earlier today. At Leverington Barns, a storage depot rented by 'Sunshine Circus', a carnival which tours southern California and Nevada."

Lisbon curled over, her hand pressed against the top of her sternum as the bile burned in her throat. Not unexpected of course, but still devastating. How was she going to tell Jane?

"Red John?"

"All the indications are consistent with a Red John crime scene, from the cutting pattern on the victim to a prominent smiley face above the corpse."

Lisbon thought for a moment. Yes, they were off the Red John case, at least until Kirkland got bored, but she needed to see the crime scene to satisfy her own mind as to the killer. And it was possible that Jane needed to see it too, to be able to accept that Lorelei was gone. Deep inside her head, Lisbon snorted. Acceptance and Jane. Two things which definitely didn't go together. But he would still need to see. Or at least have the chance. Lorelei was his former, and perhaps even current, lover and his obsession. But what was it going to do to him?

Still, better that she break the news, and stay beside him whilst he processed it, than him finding out from CBI gossip or from the tabloids. But what was Kirkland going to say?

"Bob." She figured that using his first name may help break the jurisdictional barriers. "I know that you have the Red John case now. I understand that. But I would like to look at the crime scene if possible. And bring Jane. We've worked together on a lot of these cases in the past. It could be worth seeing if either of us can add anything. It might be helpful to you."

On the other end of the line, Kirkland cleared his throat. Mmm was that a delaying tactic or nerves? She couldn't be sure.

"I don't mean to be offensive, Teresa, but I don't believe that you can add to our already very thorough investigation. However, you make an interesting point about Jane. Given his -ah how may I put this delicately - 'intimate involvement' with Ms Martins, I would be happy for him to visit the scene, under your supervision. It is, after all, a time for compassion and I know Jane was very protective of Lorelei and their relationship. I trust you will break the news to him gently."

Lisbon took a deep breath, trying and failing to relax the grip she now had on the phone. She was squeezing it tighter than a boa constrictor going in for the kill. And the pain radiating from her chest was unbearable. Time to choke down the blood gushing from her speared heart and pull on the big girl panties. Over the last few months, her poker game had improved. She could do this. Answer the smarmy son-of-a-bitch with a calm and even tone. Hell, if he cared enough to even notice these days, Jane might be proud of her.

"Thank you, Bob." She cursed the slight tremor in her voice but nothing for it. Time to press on. "That's very considerate. I will let Jane know and, should he wish to see it, I will accompany him to the crime scene. If not, either Cho or I will attend. One of us should be with you in an hour or so. Leverington Barns is about 8 miles to the northeast of Sacramento, if I recall correctly."

After Kirkland concurred, Teresa ended the call and slumped in the armchair. What was she going to do?

A few minutes later, Lisbon pulled on her game face. It was never easy telling the bereaved but that hadn't stopped her before. She wished she knew exactly how much Lorelei had meant to Jane, but that was a question she couldn't bear to see answered. The only thing to do now was to tell him face to face. Comfort him as best she could and make sure he wasn't alone. She just hoped it was enough.

Half an hour later, Lisbon stood outside Jane's attic. If he wasn't here then she'd try the motel, but this was the more likely shot. Knocking forcefully on the barred door, she shouted. "Jane. It's Lisbon. Open up."

Silence.

A weighty, smothering silence.

Then a scraping sound – probably a chair on the wooden floor – and footsteps. Her heart sped up, thumping in her ears as sweat slicked her palms. More sounds. The door being unlatched. Sliding back.

A glimpse of blonde curls and his beautiful face.

Everything within her froze. Perhaps he could lift the truth from her eyes. He might not be a psychic but he was pretty darned close.

Her heart plummeted when he looked at her asking about the Red John case. He hadn't noticed so she had to tell him. But her courage dropped like concrete in the ocean and her voice went with it. She couldn't.

Jane peered down, looking closely at her expression, and she saw his realisation from the sudden set of his jaw.

She didn't need to say anything. He knew.

* * *

The journey to Leverington passed in silence. Lisbon's eyes periodically flicked from the road to Jane but he made no response. Just continued to stare out of the side window. But this wasn't unexpected, she knew. The first stages of grief – shock and disconnection, followed by denial.

Arriving at the crime scene, Lisbon pulled in behind one of the Sac PD cars, it's flashing lights illuminating the yard and the hulking grain barn turned storage facility. Jane looked towards her, his expression a careful study in neutrality. Oh well. She supposed it was one of the better masks that he could adopt.

Without speaking to her, Jane got out of the car and made his way round to the gate, searching the scene for either Kirkland or Lorelei's body. Lisbon joined him, one hand on his arm, keeping him from running off or causing a new shit-storm for her to navigate. Now was so not the time.

Walking into the barn, Lisbon could see the crime scene before them. Yep, it was Lorelei all right. And classical Red John, except that the smiley was thicker, rounder and better defined than usual. Was that his way of saying that he took his time? Despite all her years of crime scene investigations, and of Red John killings, Lisbon couldn't suppress the shudder that racked her frame. Sure, she had no time for Lorelei. But she had known her. Talked with her. The memory rose again. The interrogation room and those words… "We were lovers him and me. Didn't he tell you?" Lorelei had had it all. Youth, beauty and unassailable confidence; a blatant sexuality that attracted men like the sirens of her name sake; and a quick intelligence and feisty determination. And now she was nothing. Just a cold, dead corpse.

Releasing her grip on his forearm, Jane walked forward to view Lorelei's body. Lisbon watched him as she tried with all her energy to project reassurance and caring towards him. How was he going to react? What could she do if he broke down? Emotionally or mentally? He leaned over to look more closely at something and Lisbon thought he spoke but she couldn't make out the words. She wondered how he could do it. How he could look at the body of another woman that he'd slept with; the only woman since his wife?

As Jane straightened and turned back to her, Lisbon frantically sought his gaze. Instead of pain, anguish or despair, there was nothing. The same neutrality and detachment.

Approaching Lisbon, he carried on walking. Straight past her and back to the vehicle. His parting words, "she had it coming," rang in Lisbon's head as she stared at him in horror. Then her feet began to move and she hurried after him, pausing by Kirkland and his colleague to murmur a brief thanks.

* * *

Back in the vehicle, Jane adopted the same position as before. In silence they drove back towards the CBI. Two blocks from the office, Lisbon changed her mind, turning for home instead. Jane made no sign.

Pulling up at her apartment, Lisbon killed the engine and turned to Jane. Before she could speak, he interrupted, "Look, I know that you're concerned about me but there's really no need."

Lisbon just stared at him, unable to hide the disbelief that flooded through her. A supercilious smirk flitted across Jane's features.

"Lisbon. It's OK. How many times should I need to tell you? I'm not in love with Lorelei Martins. Granted, at one time, I did have some feelings for her. But they were never romantic. I empathised with her loss and her desire for vengeance. And, despite her every effort to deny it, I was sure that she understood something of my needs too."

He looked down, twiddling his worn wedding band.

"That was all. I believed that we could be partners in crime. That we could take down Red John together. And I did everything I could to convince her of my indispensability. I broke her out of jail. I helped her escape at the cabin and I offered her all my talents and skills on an equal basis."

Running his hand through his hair, Jane continued.

"You know, she was torturing Lenin when I arrived at his house that night. And I stopped it. Showed her how easily I could get to the truth with a little verbal manipulation. And proved that Red John killed her sister.

"And what did she do? Reneged on our agreement. Walked away and told me not to follow. She didn't give a damn about my need for justice, even though I'd made the depth of my obsession very clear to her. She only cared about getting her own revenge. I warned her about what would happen. I told her he would kill her."

He paused, inhaling like the air was about to run out, and ran his palms down his pant legs.

"And do you know what she did then? She shot Lenin as she was leaving. In cold blood. And just to stop me from having any chance of finding Red John myself. She made that clear.

"So no, I'm neither shocked nor that upset today. I expected this. There was no other possible outcome."

Lisbon squirmed in her seat. She knew full well that Jane could be cold blooded but this was beyond anything that she could have imagined.

"I don't understand how it doesn't affect you. It makes me sad to see someone I knew dead and I didn't know her like you did. Or like her either."

Jane reached out, turning her shoulder to make sure Lisbon faced him.

"Teresa, you are a good person. You hate to see anyone suffer and your compassion is boundless.

"The whole six months in Vegas and the Lorelei thing fetched out the worst in me. A twisted, heartless conman. And I did what no gambler ever should do. I risked all that I had so as to fulfil my objective, but I never took account of the odds. That in Red John, I was playing a con every bit as ruthless as me. I got myself in too deep to drop out. That's the hallmark of a degenerate not a pro and that is something I am ashamed of. I chased after Lorelei because I couldn't do otherwise. It had already cost too much for me to walk away."

Glancing down for a moment, Jane looked back up at Lisbon pouring all his sincerity into his face and voice.

"I deeply regret how things turned out. Partly because I didn't achieve my goal of killing the psychopath, but mainly for how I treated you and the team. Especially you. You warned me plenty of times and you really should rub in that you told me so."

Lisbon turned away again, releasing her seat belt and opening the car door. "You comin' in or what?"

Shaking his head, Jane followed. "I don't deserve you Teresa. I know I don't. And yes, I'll happily sleep on your couch tonight. But not because I need to. More like, I don't think you'll rest if you're not able to check up on me."

"Jackass!"

"Oh, I know."

Lisbon marched away, heading for her front door. Jane smoothly dropped into step beside her, his hand on her lower back. Irritated with him though she was, Teresa could not help but be relieved that at least he would stay. And if he did come to need her, she could be there.


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the 'Mentalist' in any way and make no money from fanfiction. Thanks to Sue Shay for her help with earlier chapters. I'm rushing this one through ahead of Sunday's season 6 start in the US. No start date yet for us UK folks._

_Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or favourited. I really appreciate it. Particularly thank you to the guest reviewers and those without private messaging, whom I can't contact directly._

_Here is the last chapter and epilogue._

Lisbon startled awake, unsure as to why. No light filtered round the curtain edges so not yet dawn. She sat up, ears keyed in to detect the slightest disturbance. No, there was no sound or other indication that anything was wrong, but her cop senses were still on alert.

Yawning as she swung her feet out of bed, Lisbon knew that there was nothing for it. She was going to check around her home. There would be no chance of sleeping if she didn't, and also there was the slight matter of Jane. He should be asleep on the couch but she would prefer to make sure. Given his insomnia, there was a good chance that he was awake and brooding.

Flicking on her bedside light, she ran her fingers through her sleep-tousled hair a few times, dragging it into order. Pulling on some sweatpants, she surveyed herself in the bedroom mirror. Sufficiently presentable. After shoving her feet into the pre-tied trainers, Lisbon lifted her Glock from the bedside drawer and checked that it was loaded.

Now to make sure all was well.

Pulling open her bedroom door, she led with the gun, checking the hallway to the left and then right. Nothing. Next the bathroom. A deep breath. Grabbing the handle, she pushed the door back smoothly and completely and flipped on the light. Clear. Lastly, the guest bedroom. Another sweep. Again, nothing of concern.

No signs of disturbance or anything untoward upstairs. So now for downstairs.

As she reached the top of the staircase, a soft light cut through the living room darkness. Her table lamp. It looked like Jane was awake. Quietly, she called out as she started down the stairs, gun still at the ready.

"Jane? That you?"

Jane's voice drifted back to her from the kitchen door. What was he doing? Making another drink?

"Yeah, just me," he confirmed. "Go back to sleep."

Holstering her revolver, Lisbon hurried across the room to join him. As she'd suspected, he was raiding some more of her tea supply. One china cup was already on the worktop and the kettle was heating up.

"Ah, Lisbon. Care to join me? It's lemon and ginger. Zingy and refreshing."

Much as she would have preferred coffee, Lisbon agreed. Perhaps sharing some of his beloved tea would help build a rapport with the man. And God knows she needed to. At least she could now put down the gun.

Jane took the boiling water and brewed each of the teas to perfection. Raiding the cookie jar, he set the two cups and saucers and some biscuits on a baking sheet. The flat metal doubled as a tray in Lisbon's kitchen. Returning to the living room, he set the tray down on the occasional table in front of the sofa, before handing one cup to Teresa whilst indicating that she should make herself comfortable.

"I'm sorry if I woke you."

Wrapping her fingers around her cup, Lisbon sank onto one end of the sofa whilst Jane took the other. It looked like he'd been sleeping in his shirt and slacks, since his jacket and vest were neatly hung up behind the front door and his shirt had a well rumpled look.

"S'Okay." Teresa lifted the cup and inhaled the fresh scent before taking a sip. "Wasn't sure what it was so I had to check."

"Of course. Cop instincts, I know. I… err… I threw off the blanket but it caught the edge of your photo frame, which clattered against the table on the way down." He gestured towards said frame. "No harm done."

Teresa squirmed a little, burrowing back into the cushions. Jane looked almost relaxed but his pallor and the grey bruises beneath his eyes gave witness to his insomnia. It seemed a bit mean to re-open the discussion from the car but there were still things to talk through and this was the best chance she was gonna get. Swallowing one more mouthful of tea for luck, she turned to him.

"Did you get any sleep? I mean, if you want to talk…"

Jane glanced at her, the edges of his mouth curving upwards in spite of himself, before looking straight ahead and shaking his head. He turned back to her, assuming his best gentle mockery pose.

"Mother Teresa, I'm fine. Please stop worrying."

Lisbon reached over to put her cup down on the table, before turning to face Jane, one foot drawn up underneath her.

"Are you? I mean… I was thinking about what you said earlier. About being unable to walk away because the stakes were too high? How you needed Lorelei?"

"Mmm-hmm." Jane carefully interlaced his fingers in his lap. Was this a conscious effort to prevent himself from twiddling with his wedding ring?

"So, what now?"

Jane reached up with one hand, running it through his curls, whilst the other smoothed down his wrinkled pant leg.

"Look, Lisbon. It's OK. I've had a couple of weeks to get used to the idea that Lorelei was a dead woman walking. And she betrayed me. That's not something that I can ever forgive her for.

"But, in a way, she did help me. As you know, she told me that I've met Red John. Shaken hands with him. I can work with that. It does take me forward.

"And then there's the other thing tonight showed clearly… If she couldn't get to Red John, knowing him so well, I stand no chance if I turn vigilante. I'm not going to go after him alone now. I promise you that."

Lisbon felt her spirits rise like maple sap in the Spring. Alleluia! Her prayers were being answered. She couldn't stop the grin that broke on her face so she reached over and punched Jane on the arm, trying to deflect his attention.

"So no more vanishing or running off? I can rely on you to stick with me and the team?"

"Ouch, woman." Jane rubbed his upper arm like she really had hurt him. "What's with you and the aggression? Like I said, I'm sticking around. And, if it comes down to it, I can live with not killing Red John myself. If you or one of the guys take him down then that's good enough for me. And I trust you to do that."

Jumping to her feet, Lisbon stared down at him.

"Jane! That's pre-meditated murder.

"Yes, I am thankful that you're less focussed on doing Red John harm when we catch him, but you can't assume that either me or one of the team will kill him. If there is a due cause – for instance danger to life – then sure. One of us would take him down as we would any criminal. But… if he poses no threat, then, in accordance with the law, we will arrest him. And that is my final word on the matter."

Jane took her hand and guided her back to the couch.

"I hear ya. But I am going to console myself with the thought that Red John is unlikely to come quietly, so everything should work out in the end.

"And Lisbon, I mean it when I say I'm sorry for how I treated you and the team. You are the only good things in my life and I took you all for granted."

"Hush." Lisbon rubbed gently across the ball of his thumb. "It's OK. You made peace with Cho and Rigsby and the team is functioning again. Van Pelt will probably never hear the full story anyway. And as for me? I forgive you. For an intelligent man, you can be a complete jackass, but it's part and parcel of who you are, and I accept that. As long as you mean what you say – that you're not going all 'Lone Ranger' again – then that's good enough for me."

Dragging her back to her feet, Jane enveloped Lisbon in a bear-hug.

"Oh, my dear, you've no idea what that means to me."

After a few moments, Lisbon broke free of the embrace. By this point, it threatened to evolve from friendly into something else entirely. Dropping back to the sofa, she grabbed her tea and took a mouthful. Jane grabbed his own cup, mirroring her movements. Then he turned back to her.

"So, Long Beach eh? Why did you all head down there? It wasn't like you went round the Queen Mary and anything else you could have found nearer, I'm sure."

Lisbon let her head drop back into the cushions as the warm memories flooded through. It had been a good weekend. Something that she really should do more often.

Jane watched her, an answering smile on his face.

"So why didn't you do the Queen Mary? With all those old movies that you like, you'd have loved it. Prancing down the promenade pretending to be Vivien Leigh. Or Mae West, if you prefer?"

Lisbon just laughed. "Nah. Not Tommy's kind of thing. Or Annie's for that matter."

"But you." Jane peered at her earnestly. "You'd have loved it."

He paused for a second, as she shook her head, before continuing. "Yep, there it is. I can see it. You can't hide from me, you know."

Laughing, Lisbon got to her feet, gathering the two cups and saucers to take back to the kitchen. Jane followed her, leaning on the door jamb as she placed the crockery in the sink.

"If we ever get through this Teresa – if there's a life after Red John is dead – I'll take you there one day. You can pretend I'm Clark Gable or Humphrey Bogart."

She turned, leaning back against the sink and eyeing his curls critically.

"Nah, you've not got the looks. At least, not without a lot of hair dye and Brylcream."

Jane just beamed at her. "Anything for you, my dear. Anything for you."

Grabbing a glass of water, Teresa became serious again.

"If you're sure that you're alright…"

"I am."

Jane wandered back to the couch whilst Lisbon killed the kitchen light and made her way to the stairs.

"Goodnight then. Try to get some sleep."

Jane pulled the blanket over him as he threw himself flat on the couch. "You too."

Returning to her bed, Lisbon promptly fell asleep, not stirring until the alarm clock blared its 6.30am warning. Waking, she felt refreshed, despite the broken sleep. For the first time since before Jane had pulled that stupid Vegas stunt, she was collected and in control. It was going to be a good day. She could feel it.

* * *

Epilogue

_Three and a half weeks' later._

Lisbon stood in front of Bertram's desk. "You wanted to see me sir?"

Bertram leaned back in his seat, considering her.

"Do sit down Agent."

As she complied, he picked up his pen, tapping it on the edge of the desk as he composed himself.

"So, Lisbon, you must be wondering why I've summoned you here today."

"He paused for a microsecond to allow the rhetorical question to hang in the air.

"It's like this.

"As you know, I have been liasing with Bob Kirkland from Homeland Security, and he took on the Lorelei Martins and Red John cases after some concerns which he and I shared."

"Sir." Lisbon kept her eyes downcast, trying not to shiver as she remembered her last visit to this office.

"To cut a long story short, Lisbon, Bob has been through your team's work on the Red John case and has examined it in fine detail. Apart from the whole sordid Martins' business, now concluded owing to her untimely demise, Kirkland has assured me that there is nothing in the files which raises any flags for him or Homeland Security. Yes, some of the methods are unorthodox, we all know that, but there are no longer any concerns over National Security.

"And, with Ms Martins out of the picture, Jane is once more proving himself a valued member of the team and you are controlling him effectively."

Lisbon glanced up but quickly resumed her downward gaze.

"So, Agent. Now that van Pelt has returned from her course, and the team is once more at full strength, it is my pleasure to hand this back to you."

He picked up a stuffed brown folder from his in-tray and past it over to Lisbon.

"The Red John case is back under your jurisdiction. I trust that you will do nothing to make me regret my decision."

"Ah, no sir. No." Lisbon hated the stammer she could hear in her voice but nothing she could do about it.

"In that case, Agent Lisbon, you are dismissed. Good day to you."

Bertram picked up the phone to call his PA, ignoring Lisbon as she stood and scurried out of his office.

At this point, she wasn't sure whether she wanted the Red John files back or not, but she knew that it would be a boost for the team. A vote of confidence. And as for Jane, well no surprise how he was going to react. She'd best get back to the CBI as fast as possible.

At least it proved one thing. The SCU were the best. Better than the other CBI departments – not only on case closed record – and better than Homeland Security. This was their bag and they were the people to deal with it.

Cho, Rigsby, van Pelt and Jane. Her talented and dedicated team. It was time for a celebration.


End file.
